Saturday, April 12, 2008

So True

The Explanation

Finally after 2 (two) months, my feeling, my sense to write comes again. I’ve lost the sense to write for quite a long time. I could not find a word to express my feeling.

Also, I didn’t have the energy to open my mail, my friend’s blog, only one or two time I read one of their blog but it’s not more than 5 minutes.

I didn’t find the beauty of their story like before …..

It started when I’ve to traveled for business trip, to check my company “galleries”, to meet my team and check the market. The trip itself really took out my energy; I have to travel to three cities in 3 days while at the same time meeting with the team.

Then my beloved father in law hospitalized for almost two weeks, before he passed away two weeks ago. During his hospitalization, he was in critical condition. We could not communicate with him. Only on his last day, with his own way he “talked” with us, before finally he passed away on Friday, 28 March at 11.50 pm.

My grieve was different this time not like the day when my mother in law passed away, maybe because I didn’t have enough time to be with my belated father in law. I was so busy with my business trip, until on Holy Thursday, after the mass, my husband told me that my father in law was hospitalized in critical condition.

Then after that day, all of us, live in uncertainty, especially on Monday after Easter when we have to decided to use the machine or not, to help him continue his life.

The toughest decision that I and my in laws have to take. I could not forget that day, the feeling, and the sadness. How helpless us as human being.

Well … as I always said. God was so kind to me. He gave me the chance to felt His Love, His Glory on that day…

And because of His Love, finally I could finish my farewell letter to my belated father in law. I was so worried I could not write the letter that will be printed in the book to commemorate his 40 (forty) days.

…….. Two scoops of ice cream, meditation CD, and a movie … the simple things that made me find the beauty of word again.

Now, it is the time for me to continue my life again and be strong, even though another “burn out” still there.