Friday, December 26, 2008

My Christmas Reflection

Show us our love to ourselves.
Require us to seek out the love of others.
Even with fear of rejection, of severe glances, of the hardness of heart of some
Do not permit us ever give up our quest for love
The Valkyries p. 158
Paulo Coelho

That night, there’s only 1 star in the darkness of the sky.
That night was Christmas Eve.

I saw the smile, the laughter around me.
But my heart was as dry as the desert.

Until I walked and saw the star, the only star in Christmas Eve
The only star which reminds me of how I should forgiven myself as a token of my love to myself. The only star which brings me to my long journey to find God’s answer of my question.
The question of “Why me, God. Why this Christmas?”

This year was the saddest Christmas I’ve ever had, as far as I can remember.
I had punished myself so hard by not let others show their love to me. The punishment which I did until the day Jesus born.

Christmas should be a happiest day in the world, where all love was share to our dearest one.
Christmas should be a merrier day in the world, where all the happiest moment was in our heart.

Not because of the present, not because of the dinner, not because of the party.
It’s because God has given His son to us, so we could learn and feel the love of God.

We, or to be precise, Myself, know that the important things in life to receive God’s love on the day He was born, is through the preparation of our heart.
The Preparation of the ability to love our self before we spread our wing of love to others. And to be able to love our self, we must be able to forgive our self, to let the past and hope for the future. Otherwise we can’t spread the wings of love.

I don’t know others, but for me, the part of forgiving our self is the toughest things in this world. Because that is the time I have to be honest to my self.

And at that time, what we need is God’s help to lead our way in the world of honesty.
And by doing that, means that we never give up our quest for love.

Have I find the answer of “Why me God ?”
To tell the truth, I have.

The answer is because He loves me; because He wants me to show me His miracles like before; because He wants me to strive for His love; because He wants me to beg Him; because He wants me to rejoice the path that He draw for me.

But “Have I accept it ?”
To tell the truth, I’m still struggling and yes, I’m still in the middle of forgiving my self.

I still ask Him, but not why me anymore instead I ask Him to give me the courage to walk through my path, the courage to put the past behind me, the courage to accept His love, the courage to let the tears find their way.

I know it’s not easy but as Paulo Coelho’s wrote in his book, I’m not permit myself ever to give up my quest of love.

Merry Christmas
May your Christmas be wonderful.

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Once Upon a Time ... a letter from God

Once upon a time there was a child ready to born

One day the child ask God :
They tell me that you are going to send me away to earth tomorrow but how am I going to live there being so small and helpless ?

God replied :
Among the many angels, I have chosen one for you, she will be waiting for you and will take care of you.

But said the child :
Tell me here in Heaven I don’t do anything else but sing and smile.
That’s what I need to be happy !

God said :
Your angel will sing for you every day
And you will feel your angel’s love and be happy

And said the Child, “How am I going to be able to understand when people talk to me, if I don’t know the language that men talk ?”

That easy, your angel will tell you the most beautiful and sweet words you will ever hear, and with much patience and care, your angel will teach you how to speak.

The child looked up at God saying
“And what am I going to do when I want to talk to you ?”

God smiled at the Child saying
“Your angel will place your hands together and teach you how to pray”

The child said
“I’ve heard on earth there are bad men, who will protect me ?”

God put His arm around the child, saying
“Your angel will defend you-even if it means risking life !”

The Child looked sad and saying
“But I will always be sad because I will not see you anymore”

God hugged the Child
“Your angel will always talk to you about me and will teach you the way come back to me, even though I will always be next to you.”

At that moment there was much peace in Heaven, but voices from Earth could already be heard.

The child in hurry, asked softly
“Oh God, if I am about to leave now please tell me my angel’s name”

God replied
“Your angel’s name is of no importance … you will simply call her MOMMY !”

Monday, December 22, 2008

A Letter from My Lil One

I was on my way to the office when suddenly I spotted a pink envelope with Power Puff Girl sticker and a note “It’s just for You Mom !!” from Your Daughter.

I thought it was her previous letter that he sent me during Hallmark’s Mother’s day, but by looking into the new Power Puff Sticker, I couldn’t stop myself not to open it.

Then voila:

I wish to sing a duet with My Mother

Dear Mom,
Happy Mother’s day ! I know today you must go to work but before u go to work please read this letter.
Thanks mom for all thing you gave me.
I wouldn’t have nothin’ if I didn’t have you.
You always work hard for us.
I just want you to know that I love you so much and I just want to say thanks for everything you gave me, thanks for always love me.
Thank you Mom and HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY.

.. Then a note “Look at the Back”

A Bunny Paper with a note “Happy Mother’s Day !!” Now you can go to work.

And suddenly I’m in heaven.
My lil one woke up this morning, hug me and said Happy Mother’s Day.
And when am busy with my make up, she put her letter in my bag.
And I just found it on my way to the office.

Sunday, December 21, 2008

A Note to Heaven

I will never leave you.
I’ll stay in your heart
- Jack Frost -

I know that you never leave me
I know that you always guard me from above
I know that you know that I always love you
I know that you know that I missed you so much this time

I know that you hate me use the IF word
Especially since the IF will not bring you back to this world

And I know that you know that I still have the beautiful memories of you.
The memories that I’ve always picture it through my mind together with the wing of an angel.

Did you know that one of my blogger friend once told me that after all the sorrow that I encountered; the only left is the beautiful memories …
And he’s right; the only left now is the beautiful memories of you

I miss you Dad
Miss you so much.
Christmas Eve won’t be the same anymore this time …

OMG ... Am Old

When I was a teenager, I always heard my mom or my uncle or my auntie complained about how different they were compare to “us”. Time now is different, according to them. Theirs are better than us.

As a teenager, I hate them to the bone every time they come up with their lovely word. I always wondering how big was the differences whilst at the same time I told myself not to play the same rhyme when I was at their age.

Until two weeks ago, when all the families were get together to celebrate Ied, then I just realized that all the wrinkles, the grey hair, the worst eye sight, the slowness of metabolism are nothing compare to the feeling that the time differences are coming.

I was shock to death, when my nephew’s girl friend stroked my nephew’s hair while answering our question and when my other nephew’s girl friend suddenly sat on my nephew’s lap in front of us, the aunties and uncles plus their parents.

Well, am open to all kind of romantic things, I never condemn the youngsters if they did that in front of me. But to watch your nephew, especially when they are still in their college age, it’s a shocking pink for me.

All of sudden, all that gently romantic touch reminded me of my teenage period, when all the aunties and uncles compared their world with mine.

I hold myself not to start the topic with my in law, the topic of, when we were at their age such thing. I had made my promised long time ago that I don’t want to start the comparison of my world and their world.

But I failed to do the comparison when later my husband told me that he won’t dare to stroke my hair like that in front of my parents at that time, not even ask me to sit on his lap.

I just said that time is difference now. Every generation have their own mark, their own style.

Then suddenly I heard a gently voice told me, “Hey … You are old now, all the wrinkles, grey hair, worst eye sight, fat, are not just “it”, it’s a signage of being old. But why you have to bother those Old terms. Just live your life to the fullest. Old will lose the meaning if you live happily with all the aging signage.”

Well, my one and only one enemy now, fat, actually is a good enemy because she reminds me to enjoy my gym time …

So... thanks to Aging because he reminds me to balance my body.

And… Yes, OMG…am Old but it doesn’t mean that I don’t have the colorful world, in fact, I am. I still have plenty of time to enjoy the world, to touch the world through different lens, something that I don’t have when I was young.

I have two lenses now, Old and Young …

Saturday, December 20, 2008

Wrapping Personality - A Quiz

You Are Considerate and Mature

You approach the holidays with responsibility and cooperation.
You'll do your part to make sure that everyone else has a happy holiday.
You aren't particularly picky or high maintenance during the holidays.
You're happy to be in the company of people you love, and you're willing to "go with the flow."
Of all the types, you are the most likely to give someone exactly what they want.
You're also the most likely to wrap all your presents well - to prevent peeking!

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Her Name is Lady

How amazing an animal can turn your world up-side-down, turn your sadness into happiness. I never realized it until I have her, Lady, my mini pinscher puppy.

Two months ago, my husband gave us, me and my two daughters, mini pinscher puppy. He got it from his Poland friends.

She was 2, 5 months when she arrived at our home. Her eyes made all of us fall in love right away. We hardly heard her voice at that time. The only thing that we spot was her dry nose. She loves everything with Pink.

She’s going to 5 months this Christmas and we are thinking to buy her Christmas present to replace her pink doll. It must be fun to see her searching her pink Christmas present under the Christmas tree where she knows that the Christmas ornaments is the “abandon” area for chew.

Well, God always know how to cheer up His daughter, so He gave me earlier Christmas present this time

Monday, December 15, 2008

The Cost of Beauty

Her name is Han Mi Ok, a Korean celebrity who became known as “Fan Lady” after her disastrous cosmetic surgery.

She underwent 15 reconstructive surgeries to overhaul her “I-don’t-think-it-can-be-fix” plastic surgery damage.

She apparently became obsesses addicted to plastic surgery and couldn’t get enough, she even personally performed a facial injection at home.

On the picture that I attached, Han Mi Ok was at the shooting of 500th episode of Shocking Stories of The World.

Well, have to admit that she has the courage to display her damaged face in public and let people learn from the mistake that she made.

I think everybody knows that “too much” at the end will bring “damage to our live”, not just plastic surgery but other things also


Sunday, December 14, 2008

If Snow were Here

Your Snow Test Says You're Independent

You feel like something good will happen to you in the next few months.
You love to work, especially when work is creative. You have the makings of a successful artist.
You are an independent, individualistic person. You thrive when you're doing your own thing.
Your biggest worry in your life is your health. You tend to be a bit of a hypochondriac.
When it comes time to relax, you have no problem letting go. You are already pretty relaxed as is!

Thursday, December 04, 2008

The Love to Indonesia Children - Immunization

Currently, Indonesia’s Immunization Program is at a critical phase. With 1 in 5 children is un-immunized, Indonesia now ranks 4th globally for un-immunized children, after India, Nigeria and China.

There is 1 baby (child below 1 year) dies in every 3 minutes. In Indonesia 460 infants die everyday.

In Indonesia more than 4.7 million babies need routine vaccination every year and more than 75 % of Indonesian children are still not fully immunized by their 1st birthday (based on survey by Faculty of Public Health, University of Indonesia).

The cost for immunization is IDR 25K per baby and for IDR 100K can make a difference for 16 babies.

The above information is the preliminary of UNICEF presentation at the Opening Campaign of “Cintai Anak Indonesia” yesterday, at Blitz, Megaplex.

This time, I don’t want to say my sarcasm to the government; I just said to myself of how poor we are, being the ranks 4th globally. And we, Indonesian, are not able to support our own children.

It’s a pity to watch David Beckham, Jet Lee and Claudia Schiffer, ask everybody to participate to help Indonesia’s Immunization Program. It’s a pity because there are many of people out there may not know the fact of our children’s condition.

If, we can save part of our cigarette budget, or our lunch time budget, or our shopping budget, then Indonesia will not be in the ranks 4. The cost of the cigarette compare to the 25K donation is nothing. The cost of Prada bag, the cost of Zara dress/pants/shoes, compare to the 100K donation, is zero.

But how do we know if that such information never been in our news paper, our television ? How can we educate the "lucky one" if the information out there only the news of latest club, of latest milyarder party, of the latest gadget ?

Children is our future generation, their future depends on us, the grown up people. Without immunization their future will be gone, vanish.

Immunization can prevent their future from polio, from blindness because of the measles or even the fatal one, pneumonia and encephalitis.

When one of the journalists interviewed me because of our company participation in this immunization program, they asked me why I have to thank our customer who donates only IDR 2K by saying “Thank you have saved 1 baby”.

Then I told them, 2K means a lot to 25K, the cost of vaccine. If our customer would like to save their 2K conversation per week, then by the end of the program, they already contribute more than 25K, means 1 life save by them. If they only able to donate 1 time, say there are 13 subscriber do the same thing, the end is also the same, 1 life save by us.

IDR 2K or IDR 5K is nothing compare to all of the un-importance thing that we consume. We are the lucky one, though.

At the end of the program, after the theme song of Cintai Anak Indonesia, “Setinggi Mimpi Mereka” been played, I thank God because He gave me the ability to immunized my two beloved daughters. I’m the lucky one amongst the 25% and it’s about the time to save the 75 % the un-lucky one.

Setinggi Mimpi Mereka was created by Yovie Widianto and supported by 16 Singers, which are Afgan, Alika, Andry/rif, Bams “Samsons”, Christopher Abimanyu, Ferry Salim, Krisdayanti, Mario “Kahitna”, Mike Mohede, Monita, Ruth Sahanaya, Ressa Herlambang, Rio Febrian, Rossa, Titi DJ and Yunika.

So, my beloved blogger friends who stay in Indonesia and you have Fren/HEPI, the donation is easy, just type ANAK sends to 2000.

Or if you have a member of other operator except Telkomsel, Smart and Axis, you can also do the same. Wait the instruction from your provider. For those three providers that I mention before, up to the program launching, they are not participating.

Or you can also donate through Call Center if you have account with Bank Mandiri or BCA.

Hope all of us can help our future generation, our Indonesia children.