Sunday, April 30, 2006

Scent of a Woman


Tango …
Leaves that word alone ….
And it brings you to passionate feeling.

Passion of everything, the spirit, the movements, the energy, the love ….

I never saw a dance so powerful like Tango.
Every time I saw Tango, I felt that I was there, only me and my other soul in the dance floor.

But it is only a dream, I don’t know how to Tango …
So today, I add my other wish to my Dream ..that someday … I know how to Tango…

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

The Woman's Book of Yoga


I bought this book last year when I was in Bali. Just finished my business and went to spend my relaxing time in the center of Ubud.

I thought I never used this book since I always practice my Yoga everyday and went to class almost two times a week.

I went back to my class two weeks ago but I didn’t do my practice after that class.

Tomorrow I’m going to my yoga class again and I know that my instructor will spot my asana.

So .. I took this book out from my library and start to fill in every page of this Yoga Journal Diary

Why I recommend "As Time Goes By...The Great American Songbook: Volume II"

by Rod Stewart

I love “Thanks for the Memory” more than “As Time Goes By”.

Maybe because all the songs in “Thanks for the Memory” made me dance with my sad, funny, lovely, memory.

While in “As Time Goes By” the attachment is different, the contemplation is different.

Anyway if I have to rated this album, I will say it is worth to listen, it is worth to have t.

Monday, April 24, 2006

A good start

There is one thing that I always admired from a child, their curiosity.

From their curiosity, they can build anything that we never even imagined it; they can see things from different perspective.

From their curiosity, they can let go their fear of making a mistake, from fear of people’s judgment of their invention.

Today, after 2 days, finally I finished my 1st page of my personal web – not my company web –

I will use the eyes of my children, the curiosity of my children, in designing my own web.

My company web….for sure, as had been decided before, I will ask the expert to work out my idea…

But at least, I have tried to create my own.

It’s not finish yet, but it’s a good start.

Saturday, April 22, 2006

Not Work....

I think I have to give up this “Things”. I had tried my best to up date my To Do list everyday, made it narrow. But it did not work. Only one or two items that I had worked it out. The others … “gone with the wind”.

The problem is not about made the List but disciplined myself to up dated it everyday and work on it.

:) ... Long way to go … I’ll find another way to prioritize my things to do….

A story about "Thanks For The Memory...The Great American Songbook IV"

by Rod Stewart

.... Goodbye, no use leading with our chins. This is where our story ends. Never lover, ever friends. I sincerely want to say. I wish you bluebirds in the spring. To give your heart a song to sing….(WISH YOU LOVE)

I play this album, on and on and on … until today.
It seems that all this songs in this album took me out from my hidden place.

Like a teenager, feel the 1st love for the first time.
Like a lover had their first date.
Like a couple spent their relaxing time away from their children.

Will you dance with me ?

.... Darling you send me. I know that you send me ….(YOU SEND ME)

Friday, April 21, 2006

A review of "The Essential Kenny G"

by Kenny G.

I always like Kenny G Saxophone; a music for every season.
I always expecting something new every time I buy his new album.
But it seems that lately, all the songs that I heard in his album were not a new song, a song that I can’t find in his other album.

There are 2 CD’s in this “The Essential Kenny G”, his 1st CD’s didn’t make me move, but his 2nd CD’s finally made me enjoy my morning sun, perhaps because all of the song are my favourite music.

Anyway…it’s “The Essential”....

Thursday, April 20, 2006


I fall in love with the ghost of the Goddess.

Suddenly I remembered this message that I received long time ago, the message that took me to the corner of my hidden memories.

It was only one sentence but reflected the despairing, reflected the pain, reflected the suffering of love.

Love never chooses the wrong person; only fate that made love chooses the wrong person. Love is love.

I always questioning God’s gift of love, questioning the fate that God had given, questioning the path that He had chosen, questioning the purpose of the love that He had chosen to us.

If I can turn back the day, if I can find the answer from my past life, maybe I can understand the reason of God’s love, maybe I can understand the memories that I put in the corner.

I never look back to that corner until I heard a song about love, about fate, about fall in love to the ghost.

I thought that I had forgotten that “corner”. I thought that I had forgotten the attachment.

Now in my stillness, I watch from the distance that “picture” with happiness, with rejoices, because God had given me the chance to touch that “ghost”.

In my stillness, I suddenly realize that “the ghost” is always there, never left me behind.

“Maybe in our past life, you are mine and mine is yours”
“Maybe in our future life, you become mine and mine become yours”

What I gave you, shall be yours forever,
I shall not take it back,
But like a bed of some deep river,
I shall make my life richer by touch
Of some other earth.
This golden moment of rhyme, hanging around time,
I shall wear it, only at festivals of mind
Just like a devotee, left behind,
I shall drink the incense of your Shrine !
(Aruna Jethwani)

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Living My Dream

I just received a thank you note from my friends as a replied for my Easter Greetings that I sent to them.

From all of the mail that I received, there was one mail that made me contemplated

"For me I'm living my dream, I have just been recently promoted to COO. Hope life will treating you well". That was the word that made me contemplate of my decission.

Am I living my dream now ? Does life treats me well ? ...

My living dream is to enrich myself through my career while at the same time be with my daughters. My living dream is to be with my daughters while at the same time enrich myself by taking higher education..

That is my true living dream...

For almost 13 years I try to living my dream, a dream where I enrich myself through my career while at the same time tyring to spend more time with my daughters.

So, am I living my dream now ?

2 days ago, when we passed my former company, my little daughter asked me "Did you miss your job ?"

I gave her the same answer every time she asked me the same question.

"No, I didn't miss my job, but I miss my friends, miss the discussion, miss our "gossip", miss our "talk".

Yes ... I miss that all, I miss that so badly.

So, am I living my dream now ?

Every time I saw a woman with their formal dress at the lobby of my course, I can hear my self talked within each other.

"Hey ... look at that woman, she's wearing a dress that you used to wear"; "Yeah..but I've been there and now am wearing my jeans and my T, the dress that really reflected myself"; "I bet that they just finish their meeting, do you miss that kind of activity ?"; "Actually, yes I missed that, but I've been there so nothing to be envy."

So, am I living my dream now ?

Life is about choices.

I had made my choice to quit from my job, start my own company to be with my daughters more than I used to be for almost 13 years.

So, am I living my dream now ?

Why it is so hard to answer ? Am I regretting myself ? Am I blamming myself ?

I didn't regret my decission to quit and I didn't blame myself for taking that decission.

The answer was so hard because I did not get all of my dream...; Otherwise Life's become too easy if I've got all what I want ...( a reminder that I've got from my true friend)

So, am I living my dream now ?

Yes ... I'm living my dream. GOD had given me my 1st dream, and now He is giving me my 2nd dream.

He is giving me a chance to be with my daughters more than I ever have. He is giving me a chance to myself to enrich my relationship with my daughters, while at the same time He is teaching me to see life from different angle, to be more patient to myself, to be more humble to everybody, to appreciate my time.

So, does Life treats me well ?

Yes ... for sure, Life is treating me well.

........ I'm living my dream too .. spend more time with my daughters while at the same time start progressing my own business and is treating me well......

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

I did it !!!

Another cheer to myself …; At least I can push myself to write every new word that I don’t understand into my vocab notes.

At least I did it, something that I should do it for a looong time ago.

Now..the important thing is trying to memorize it, otherwise it will be another “love to write” instead of “love to memorize”.

Will see the next result another two weeks before finally I said that it is worth to do it.

Monday, April 17, 2006

Where the world take a rest

This is a place where everybody loves and wish to come back again and again…!!

This is a place where people suddenly value their life..

This is a place where I forgot everything, where the sensation still the same.

The sensation of the beach at Santika hotel, Tuban, still the same. I always feel at home here, the place where I can play with the sand, enjoy the scenery of sunset, jogging along the beach while watching people play.

The passion of mountain range, where I spend most of my time lately.

Keliki Village, Ubud, the place of “Bali”, the real face of “Bali”..., no TV, no Music, no Newspaper…; just me and myself ; just me and the morning sun ; just me and the cricket at night.

Watching people gave the offering to GOD early morning and during the sun dawn…

Watching my Padma blossom, feel the coldness of the water …

Sit quietly and let my mind fly away high to the place that I’ve never even dare to visit.

No ever place that I want to spend more than Bali … ,

Panis Angelicus - Ave Maria

Panis angelicus
Fit panis hominum
Dat panis coelicus
Figuris terminum
O res mirabilis
Manducat Dominum
Pauper, pauper
Servus et humilis
Pauper, pauper
Servus et humilis

Heavenly bread
That becomes the bread for all mankind
Bread from the angelic host
That is the end of all imaginings
Oh, miraculous thing
This body of God will nourish
Even the poorest
The most humble of servants
Even the poorest
The most humble of servants

.... The song of my soul, the song that I want the choir sing for me during my last sacrament. The song that reminds me of love, of betrayal, of forgiveness, of total surrender. The song that reminds me of “total blissfull”....

Sunday, April 16, 2006


Have you ever let your mind fly away to every part of your own world ?
Have you ever feel the softness of the water when they touch your skin ?

I don’t have to compete, just let my body moved and feel the water touch my skin and bring my mind fly away…

Seeing through my gogles to every small things in the water …

Feel my heart beep, feel my body sweat …

I’ll do this again …. wake up early in the morning, go to the swimming pool …and do my swimming meditation …, remembering all the beautiful things that GOD gave to me

Eternal Soul

For The Soul there is neither birth nor death. The soul that is will never cease to be. It is unborn, eternal, ever-existing, undying and primeval. It is not slain when the body is slain (Gita, Chapter 2, Verse 20).

No one ever knows when the soul leaves the body and moved to another body; no one ever knows…

But when the times come for my soul to move to another body, I don’t people to lament, I want people to rejoice, like they rejoice a new baby born.

I know it’s sound ridiculous, but I don’t want to lose the opportunity to put my wishes in written.

Today … I’m starting with the flower, I don’t want purple orchid flower, I want red roses, white lily and jasmine everywhere. I want the altar and Maria statue decorate with that 3 flowers….

I don’t want people come to the mass wearing a black dress, I want them wearing their colorfull dress, like they come to a wedding party.

The last one … I want my body to be cremate and spread the dust at the sea…so wherever they go they can send me flower.

... There are plenty things to do … I haven’t finished yet..but at least I have started the 1st step.

the Restless Mind

The Yoga Practitioner whose mind is unbridled can never attain self realization. Only one who has mastered the self and who strives by right means is assured of success (Gita, Chapter 6, Verses 36)

This is the beginning of my long journey to find my “blissfull” dream, to seek “the truth”.

The journey to attain my self realization …

Saturday, April 15, 2006

At the end of the road....

I wish…I really wish that I have the spirit to continue designing my company website.

The temptation to quit is so big.

It seems that I put a lot of “goals” on my plate and put them all as “number 1 priority”.

I never learned to prioritize..something that I always failed, something that all my friends reminds me to do.

It’s almost 2 months, and haven’t put anything ….only a sketch.

I hate myself…!!!!

Maybe I push myself too hard, maybe I want to proof something to my self.

When I told my colleague that I want to start my own company and quit from my job, she told me that for sure I will lost my knowledge of technology, that I will not understand anything, or in other word I’ll be a “dumb” person.

I hated her by saying that, I hated her because of her mean opinion.

Then starting from that day, I told myself that I have to proof something, proof to that person, to my lunch time gang, that I’m still the person that they know.

What a stupid idea !! But I can’t quit, I’m too arrogant to do that.

Oh GOD, please…give me a chance to finish it…

Thursday, April 13, 2006

Speak to us about Love

Today is the day when Catholic people doing the ceremony of remembering "The Last Supper".

Remembering the "LOVE" that Jesus has shown to His disciple, to us.

Remembering the day before we crucified Him.

There are so much Love in the Last Supper, Love that so difficult to follow, because we are human, because we are made from flesh and blood.

A pure Love, the Unconditional Love.

Yes..unconditional, because in that Love we never ask for anything, we never have other purposes then the Love itself.

Love that can be found through the sparkle of a mother's eyes when she hold her child.

Love that bring us to what we called "blissfull" condition..

Love which shape our life, as what Kahlil Gibran put in his Spiritual Inspiration Thought.

....When love beckons to you, follow him,
Though his ways are hard and steep.
And when his wings enfold you yield to him,
Though the sword hidden among this pinions may wound you.
And when he speaks to you believe in him,
Though his voice may shatter your dreams as the north wind lays waste the garden.

For even as love crowns you so shall be crucify you.
Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.
Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that
quiver in the sun,
So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.
Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself.
He threshes you to make you naked.
He sifts you to free you from your husks.
He grinds you to whiteness.
He kneads you until you are pliant;
And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for
God's sacred feast.

All the things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your
heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life's heart.

But if in your fear you would seek only love's peace and love's pleasure,
Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love's
Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter,
and weep, but not all of your tears.

Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.
Love possesses not nor would it be possessed;
For love is sufficient unto love.

When you love you should not say "God is in my heart," but rather, "I am in the
heart of God."
And think not you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you
worthy, directs your course.

Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself.
But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:
To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.
To know the pain of too much tenderness.
To be wounded by your own understanding of love,
And to be bleed willingly and joyfully.
To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of living;
To rest at the noon hour and meditate love's ecstasy;
To return home at eventide with gratitude;
And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of
praise upon your lips.....

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Tell us about Marriage

rI was in my 2nd year at Senior High School when I first met with Kahlil Gibran Spiritual Inspiration book "The Prophet".

I remembered the sensation that I had encountered when I was reading his word about Love, Marriage, Children, Friendship, Joy and Sorrow.

I remembered I had broght Kahlil Gibran's book to school and had disscussed it with my best friend, who had died long time ago.

How both of us had admired his thought about Life, admired the word that he had used to explained every moment of life.

I was not a teenager anymore now, in fact, I'm a mother of 2 beautiful daughters, who had changed her professional life to become an entrepreneur, who had changed her title from "a career woman" to "a mother".

A woman who had travelled within every fragment in her life that GOD has given to her.

A woman who adore Kahlil Gibran's thought about Marriage.

A thought that still difficult to follow in today's century. Especially in the tradition where wife is belonging to her husband, where the owner of a wife is a husband, where the last word should come from the husband...

Maybe I'm wrong, maybe I'm right, I don't know. I am still searching for the answer of Kahlil Gibran's thought ....

The thought that I quote :

...You were born together, and together you shall be for evermore.
You shall be together when the white wings of deatch scatter your days.
Aye, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God.
But let there be spaces in your togetherness.
And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.

Love one another, but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bead but eat not from the same loaf.
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.

Give you hearts, but not into each other's keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together yet not too near together.
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow...

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

The Answer

A tribute to my TRUE FRIEND ...

For almost a year I always questioning "which one is the most precious one, Friendship or Love" ?

I tried to find the answer and I always failed.

Then just last week, there was a question at answer yahoo, questioned the same issue but with different version, "which one is the most precious one, friends or boy friend"

I remembered my answered of that question that the most precious one is our friend, because they always there when we need a help.

Was it the right answer ? I think so, because most of the person who answered the question choosed the same answer like me.

So..had I found the answer ? Yes, I found it, just found it today, but it is not "friends" but "TRUE FRIEND".

I don't have many "TRUE FRIEND" .. in fact I only have one.

I quote this "Friendship" inspiration from Kahlil Gibran..

... Your friend is your needs answered,
He is your field which you sow with love and reap with thanksgiving.
And he is your board and your fireside.
For you come to him with your hunger, and you seek him for peace.

When your friend speaks his mind you fear not the 'nay' in your own mind, nor do
you withhold the 'ay'.

And when he is silent your heart ceases not to listen to his heart;
For without words, in friendship, all thoughts, all desires, all expectations are
born and shared, with joy that is unacclaimed.

When you part from your friend, you grieve not;
For that which you love most in him may be clearer in his absence, as the
mountain to the climber is clearer from the plain.

And let there be no purpose in friendship save the deepening of the spirit
For the love that seeks aught but the disclosure of its own mystery is not love
but a net cast forth: and only the unprofitable is caught.

And let your best be for your friend.
If he must know the ebb of your tide, let him know its flood also.

For what is your friend that you should seek him with hours to kill ?
Seek him always with hours to live,
For it is his to fill your need, but not your emptiness.

And in the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter, and sharing of
For in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed...

A story about "Bee Season"

Worth consuming or Not worth consuming ?

These 2 questions are always hanging around like a bee in my mind everytime I watch a movie.

When I watched this movie “Bee Season”, I have to admit that this is a difficult one to judge.

90 % of the story was about the 4 people in that movie, the father, the mother, the daughter and the son, picturing their own restlessness. It’s quite difficult to find the relation between each person “restlessness”.

But one thing that I found out from that movie, something real, that we always keep our own “restlessness” within our selves. We never open it to the closest person of ours.

Worth consuming or not worth consuming ? One thing that I know…it’s difficult to understand this movie but it is worth to learn something from “Bee Season”, something that can enrich our lives.

Sunday, April 09, 2006

Berani - The 1st Indonesian Children Newspaper -

A tribute for every children in Indonesia - A tribute for my lovely daughters

Anakku terkasih,

Betapa irinya Bunda terhadap kalian berdua, ketika Bunda membaca koran yang diterbitkan khusus untuk kalian.

Betapa bangganya Bunda kepada "segelintir orang" yang berusaha mengajak kalian kembali ke dunia nyata, di tengah hiruk-pikuknya sinetron yang tidak pernah menyentuh sisi kehidupan yang harus kalian jalani nanti, sisi kehidupan yang bernama "kerja keras".

Betapa bangganya Bunda kepada "segelintir orang" yang berusaha mengajak kalian "membaca" di tengah hiruk-pikuknya komik Jepang yang membuat kalian "lupa" untuk mendapatkan nilai yang bagus untuk "pemahaman membaca".

Bunda masih ingat diskusi Bunda dengan teman-teman seangkatan Bunda.

Ketika itu kami mendiskusikan mengenai moral anak Indonesia, betapa irinya kami terhadap anak Asia lainnya yang dapat menentukan gerak langkah mereka, betapa geramnya kami terhadap anak Indonesia yang lebih mementingkan "penampilan" dibandingkan "pengetahuan".

Saat itu kami berusaha mencari penyebab dari sikap acuh tak acuhnya kalian, sikap memandang enteng masa depan kalian, sikap "borjuis" kalian.

Hingga akhirnya kami berkesimpulan bahwa sebagian dari kesalahan itu berpangkal dari diri kami sendiri, memberikan "demokrasi" dengan alasan "melindungi" kalian dari "penderitaan" masa lalu kami.

Paham yang salah, karena saat ini, dunia sudah tak seramah dulu, saat dimana majalah yang ada hanyalah Kuncung, saat dimana sinetron dan internet belum ada, saat dimana buku bacaan yang ada hanyalah "Perjalanan Karl May", saat dimana komik yang ada hanyalah "Ramayana", "Mahabharata".

Masih ingat ketika Bunda membahas liburan kita ke Bali ? Masih ingat apa yang kalian katakan Ketika Bunda bilang bahwa kita akan tinggal di suatu tempat, yang jauh dari kehingarbingaran Kuta, keborjuisan Legian, ke tempat dimana televisi dan bahkan radio pun tidak ada ?

Betapa keras penolakan kalian dan betapa keras keputusan Bunda untuk tidak mengubahnya ?

Bunda sekarang mendapatkan jawabannya, ketika kalian membaca surat kabar yang diterbitkan untuk kalian...

Pertanyaan yang tidak pernah Bunda dapatkan jawabannya ketika Bunda bertanya kepada guru kalian.

Bunda bersyukur sekali hari ini, bersyukur karena kalian akhirnya menyadari bahwa pengetahuan bukan hanya dari membaca buku pelajaran sekolah, membaca bukan hanya komik dan cerita cinta "teenlit"

Bunda bersyukur ketika mendengar pendapat kalian mengenai Paris Hilton yang diminta untuk memerankan Bunda Teresa oleh salah satu sutradara di India.

Bunda bersyukur ketika Bunda mengerti mengapa nilai pemahaman membaca kalian tidak seperti yang Bunda harapkan.

Ah ... masih belum terlambat ...

Andai saja Bunda hidup di zaman ini....

Sketch of a Map

I remembered my conversation with Joerg, at Asian Living Exhibition in Frankfurt.

He told me that he had tried to browse my company website but he could not find it.

It was 14 February, where everybody there was preparing their valentine’s day.

I gave him my big smile and my standard usual excuses “my website were under construction and will be ready within 2 months”.

Today, the end of 2 months will come within 5 days

I almost gave up my 1st things of my 43things list, until I read a comment of my entry and the cheered that I have.

How come I dissapointed the people who supported me, somebody that they know from the list of 43things….

So, in remembering the cheered, the comment, I had to tell you all that I had finished the 1st step of designing a website, I had finished the sketch of my site map, the foundation before I move on.

That 2 months for sure … I can not beat it, but I know that I have won the 100 m sprint competition, the competition between the loser and the winer

It is still long way to go, I still have to finish the sketch of every page ..but I know I had pass the toughest part, deveated myself.

Let’s see 1 week from now…I still owe you all, the report of my website journey.

Friday, April 07, 2006

Why I recommend "Putumayo Presents: Asian Groove"

by Various Artists

It is hard for me to enjoy Indian Music.

1st because I don’t understand the languange, 2nd because of the beat.

I bought one of the famous Indian traditional music, Mehdi Hasan, the legend, when I was in Hyderabad.

I was attracted to the lyric and the music itself. It’s about a man who carries his love until his die. How he beliefs that he will meet his woman again in his next life….

But at that time I miss to ask the title of the song..and it’s end up with a bunch of dissapointment, because I could not find the music that I like.

Until I bought this CD.

The dissapointment turn to satisfaction.

I can feel the soul of the music, feel the beat of each song, feel the “smell” of each instrument of the music, feel “the senses” of each song.

I still don’t understand the lyric but it’s not a matter now, since the essence of that music itself already explain it all.

...Pheli War – Sabyhata, ... it’s worth to consume

A story about "Ancora"

by Il Divo

I always need a music when I want to express my thought in written. Not just written my journal but also during preparing my business plan.

I felt that music always gave me an energy and inspiration for every word that I put.

Il Divo, since their 1st album, already made my mind fly away beyond the language barier, took me to the place where I belong, took me to the places where the only left was just a “memory”.

Old People and Their Coffee

I never dreamed to visit this city, Singkawang, the city which never been in the discussion of our Geography study during my elementary, junior nor even high school.

We had an assignment to write about Bugis people who transport the log from Pontianak to Jakarta by using their traditional boat.

We near to finished our assingment, when my friend got an invitation to visit Sintang, another city near Pontianak.

We were in the middle of admiring the sparkle of traditonal boat, when my friend told us about Singkawang, where had been known as the traditional chinesse ceramic village.

We found that as an opportunity to wrote something about their tradition, the people and the ceramic.

We arrived there in the evening …. humid, hot, seemed that no one ever touched that city, and went straight to the ceramic crafts village.

The village were far away from the center. We had to across the coarse grass desert … like a village in the Vietnam War.

We felt like a stranger. Yes .. a stranger in our own country

We did understand that we will visit the village but found out that they could not understand Indonesian language… was something that we never know, something that never been taught nor even written in the newspaper, was something beyond my imagination.

It seems that their skilled … their ceramic … had overcome the languange barrier, had overcome the difficulties of a modern trade rules.

No wonder people had forgotten that they could not speak Indonesian.

Started from that day…everytime I saw a ceramic with chinese motif, or green color or with antique color…my mind always go to that place….

It was not only the ceramic … I found something that also interesting…. the traditional cafe …

We found that traditional cafe during our morning walk on the next day, our last day in that city.

Suddenly we were in the middle of several traditional cafe where the old people enjoyed the morning sun with the coffe kettle in the middle of the table.

It was not only 1 seemed that all of old people stayed in that city went out to enjoy their morning talk with the traditional coffee…

Dressed in Chinessed tradition … grey hair … hot water kettle in the middle of the table, aroma of the coffee…

That was the second things…that always remind me of that city.

The ceramic and the coffee…

Thursday, April 06, 2006

The pearl city

I flew to Hyderabad on Sunday morning by Sahara carier, after my exhausting trip to Taj Mahal, after I finished my task at Delhi, after the bad experienced I had with the travel agency.

I never forget that Sunday morning in Hyderabad.

Raining…, smaller airport compare to Delhi…; remembering me of small city in Indonesia.

The hotel driver had been waiting for me and took me directly to the hotel which had been choosed by the same travel agent.

The same travel agent which had been appointed by EPCH (the coordinator of Indian International Handicraft exhibition), the same travel agent who cheated me.

I had a strange feeling at that time that I will be cheated again but I could not cancelled my trip to Hyderabad. I had paid the ticket from Delhi to Hyderabad, paid the hotel and the worst part, my returned ticket to Jakarta was from Hyderabad.

I was so shock when I entered the hotel, it was dark and no air con. Especially the room condition, the curtain, the carpet, it looks like that no one ever clean them. The bed, unbelievable.

Compared to my hotel in Delhi which cost 50 % less then in Hyderabad, that was the worst thing that ever happened in my life.

I was panicked at that time, and I started to called everybody that I know in India. I called my friend, I called my Indonesian Embassy. I cried, I told them I want to go back to Indonesia right away…

But GOD has His plan on me, He didn’t let me go home ..

My friend, finally found a good hotel for me, with a special price. More expensive but worth it. Viceroy Hotel … and maybe today it’s been changed to Mariott Hotel.

I felt at home suddenly, found something familiar with me.

..... My adventure started with Birla Mandir Temple, white marble stone with Mahabrata Epic relief. Saw the priest bless the people. Met with my indian little friend. Met with nice, kind people, whose taken my photograph.

Went to Shilpharam, the craft village, on Monday morning, bought a lot of earings and necklaces.

Browsing beautiful sari at Kalanikethan and finally bought one, my 1st beautiful sari…(wish I have a chance to wear it).

I still remembered the 1st sari that I would like to buy .. sari with gold string …. oh..I couldn’t afford it.. (wish I have a chance to wear it).

Went to Sadarfjung Museum on Tuesday morning, found the similarity of their traditional sarong with Indonesian sarong. Finally got the proof of my history study .. that long time ago, people from India and China came to Indonesia…

Pass the Husein Sagar every time I went to several places in Hyderabad.

Went to Charminar, pass Mecca Masjid, met with Catholic nun…before at the last…bought the pearls from Krishna’s pearl.

The 1st time in my life I bought precious stone of my birth stone and the pearls.

Nothing much to share, only the kindness of the people, the beautiful places, the light of Husein Sagar lake in front of my hotel, the garden, the pearls, the sari …

The architecture of the designer home, Microsoft building, the peacock of the campus…

It’s near Divali when I took my last dinner, Indian curry with chapati, before I left Hyderabad to Jakarta.

I will come back and settled my unfinished trip to Hyderabad … find out my past life.

Saturday, April 01, 2006

The Chuzzle

Last nite my litle daughter asked me to play "Chuzzle" (a game that I bought from yahoo) with her.

So I asked her what kind of Chuzzle that she wanted to play, since there are different type of Chuzzle.

As usual, she choosed that Zen Chuzzle (which is the last type of Chuzzle that I would like to play, because there is no competition).

But to respect her choice, I still stick with that kind of chuzzle, and as predicted, I felt bored.

I need a game where my adrenaline goes up, where I can compete, where at the end I can beat other person, and my name become the number one of the top 5 list.

I was in middle of thinking to changed it when she told me, "that's the reason why I choosed that Zen Chuzzle, because I didn't have to rush to win the game...and I can have beautiful color if I achieved certain points"

"Why don't you just play. At least you don't have to worry that you will loose. You also still can watch your favourite movie ... that chuzzle will understand, they will sleep while waiting for you and get up when you are ready".

.. What a word comes from 8 years old girl ? It's true, so true. Unbelievable how come I treat that computer game as my enemy, something that I have to compete.

Amazing...(my favourite word lately) ... !

I've been trained for almost 13 years to compete, to be the number 1 amongst my colleague, to be recognized by my employer that they have potential leader, to get pay rise...

I've been trained to put my energy to win the race, no matter how senseless it was.

I've been trained to open my eyes even though I was a sleep.'s amazing to finally realized that I forget how to "sleep", how to "listen", how to "taste", how to "hear", how to "touch" the beautiful sound of World.

The question now is should I forget the beautiful 13 years training and start to catch up the losses ?

I don't think that I should forget the beautiful 13 year training. The best way is to combine that 13 years training and the reminder that I got from my daughter.

I have to be able to "stop" for a while, just to open my eyes, and feel the "sound of the world".

Here I quote The Chance from Paulo Coelho.

Everything tells me
that I am about to make a wrong decision,
but making mistakes is just part of life.
What does the world want of me ?
Does it want me to take no risks,
to go back where I came from
because I didn't have the courage
to say 'yes' to life ?