Saturday, May 27, 2006

It's Friday

..Ice Chocolate Blend at Daily Bread with Rod Stewart “Great American Songs” collection in the morning, ..Lunch with Spagheti Carbonara at Jade Restauran, ... end up with ne*yo CD collection in the evening…

What a great Friday !!!!

“When You’re Mad”

It’s just the cutest thing
When you get to fussing (cussing)
Yelling and throwing things
I just wanna eat you up
I don’t mean no disrespect
When I start staring
Knowing that it makes you madder
I’m sorry but seeing you mad is so sexy

Could it be the little wrinkle over your nose
When you make your angry face
That makes me wanna just take off all your clothes
And sex you all over the place
Could it be the lil’ way you storm around
That makes me wanna tear you down
Baby, I’m not sure, but one thing that I do know is

Every time you scream at me
I wanna kiss you
When you put your hands on me
I wanna touch you
When we get to arguing
Just gotta kiss you
Baby, I don’t know why it’s like that
But you’re just so damn sexy
When you’re mad

Baby, don’t think I don’t take you seriously
But I just can’t help the fact that your attitude excites me (so exciting)
And you know ain’t nothing better
Then when we get
Mad together and have angry sex (I’ll blow you out)
Then we forget what we were mad about

Could it be the little wrinkle over your nose
When you make your angry face
That makes me wanna just take off all your clothes
And sex you all over the place
Could it be the lil’ way you storm around
That makes me wanna tear you down
Baby, I’m not sure, but one thing that I do know is

Every time you scream at me
I wanna kiss you
When you put your hands on me
I wanna touch you
When we get to arguing
Just gotta kiss you
Baby, I don’t know why it’s like that
But you’re just so damn sexy

Every time you scream at me
I wanna kiss you
When you put your hands on me
I wanna touch you
When we get to arguing
Just gotta kiss you
Baby, I don’t know why it’s like that
But you’re just so damn sexy
When you’re mad

......Saturday morning has come in Indonesia but maybe still Friday in some part of the world…Anyway ..Have a nice week end….

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

How "Messages from the Masters : Tapping into the Power of Love" changed my life

by Brian Weiss

We go through so many stages when we’re here. We shed a baby body, go into a child’s, from child to an adult, an adult into old age. Why shouldn’t we go one step beyond and shed the adult body and go onto a spiritual plane ? That is what we do. We don’t just stop growing; we continue to grow. When we get to the spiritual plane, we keep growing there, too. We go through different stages of development. When we arrive, we’re burned out. We have to go through a renewal stage, a learning stage, and a stage of decision. We decide when we want to return, where, and for what reasons. Some choose not to come back. They choose to go on to another stage of development. And they stay in spirit form…some for longer than others before they return. It is all growth and learning…continuous growth. Our body is just a vehicle for us while we’re here. It is our soul and our spirit that last forever … (Chapter two, Cycle of Life).

There are a lot of “extreme” statements from the Master for someone who do not believe of “past life”. But if we go through to every chapter of this book and try to contemplate it, reflected ourselves, then we may know that this is not just about “past life”, it is about we, as a human being, choose our path in every stages of our life. Not just one life but for every journey that we choose.

The path will be vary, depends on the spiritual life that we failed to achieve in our journey. The spiritual life is not about “faith”; it is about us as a human being has love each other. Is about a love that a mother should give to her children, about a love that a husband should give to his wife, about a superior love to their subordinates.

This is about Karma, suffering, happiness and healing.

This book was talking about LOVE. The LOVE which stated in every religion in the world but mistakenly understood by their disciple because of a human ego. The love which if we practiced it will prevent us from war, from suffering.

This book was talking about our responsibility as human being for our action, about forgiveness, about Immortality and finally about THE UNIVERSAL GOD.

The last answer that I search for. The answer about religion which finally gave me an understanding that religion was made by human to feed our hunger of the MASTERS.

Monday, May 22, 2006


by Sanjay Leela Bhansali

When it comes to God we are all blind, none of you have ever seen him or heard him. But I’ve touched God. I’ve felt His presence…(Michell speech in her graduation day …”Black”)

I was reading my friend’s article about Faith, Piety and Power when I saw the above quotation at my notebook.

The quotation that made me remembers my pilgrimage to a quiet, wet and cold, Lourdes in January 2005.

The perfect time to contemplate (said one of the priests). The season that they waiting for. Time to look at ourselves walk from the darkness through the Light. Time to touch God from the Dark. Time to hear God’s sound from our deafness.

I never saw God, not even heard Him, but yes….I’ve touched God’s presence in every stages of my life. Not in the best path of my life but in the worst path of my life.

The path where I said nasty things to God, the path when I questioned God for every answer that He had given to me; the path where I could not stand on my feet.

The path who taught me of wisdom, spirit and courage at the end of the journey.

The journey that made me understand that because of their blindness relationship every human being has the right to say that their faith is the best amongst the others.

Yes, blindness…because we never saw God nor heard about Him. We only felt and touch His presence through the wisdom, the spirit and the courage.

Something that we may say “insane” to someone who beliefs to what they felt; not based on the fact.

The insanity which made us “sane”.

Therefore no one in the world who have the right to persuade others to follow their faith because every human being have their own understanding, their own way to touch God.

And same as my friend, at the end, I keep questioning, if every human being could see that faith was vertical relationship with God; do they still say that theirs are better than others ? If every human being could see how “insane” they were, do they still use it as a tool to gain the power ?

Faith is insanity….

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Donation for Palestinian's

Indonesia's popular Muslim party will launch a fund raising campaign this weekend for the Palestinians, whose Hamas-led government is in financial dire straits after Western countries halted aid.The Prosperous Justice Party (PKS) will organize a rally on Sunday in the capital Jakarta to kick off the campaign, said party official Muhammad Razikun and the rally is expected to draw 100,000 party supporters."This campaign is to show our solidarity with the Palestinians, who have been punished for their democratic choice," Razikun said.PKS chairman Tifatul Sembiring said the campaign aimed to raise 10 million dollars in one month and called on Indonesians to give 10,000 rupiah (about one dollar) each to help the Palestinians."To all PKS supporters in Indonesia, I appeal to you to pitch in to ease the burden of the Palestinian people," he was quoted as saying by the state Antara news agency.The PKS is popular especially among young urban Muslims. Although a newcomer in the 2004 parliamentary elections, it finished first in Jakarta with 24 percent of the vote. It has 45 seats in the 550-strong national parliament.

I could not believe my eyes when I read it. 10 million IDR for Palestinian’s people !!!!

We were facing Mt. Merapi eruption and they organized a rally to help Palestinian’s?

Did they read in the newspaper that there was not enough food in the refugee camp? That we still need more shelter for the refugee? Did they aware that the refugee might lose their home ? Did they aware that not just the people in the Mt. Merapi's shelter who need our help ? Did they aware that our Aceh people still need our help ? Did they aware that our children need a new construction for their school ?

Our own people need our help but those people under the name of “solidarity” made a rally to help the Palestinian’s ?

I felt sorry for Palestinians people; I disagree with the way western country punished them.

But I’d rather let our government show their sympathy through their diplomatic channel instead of made a rally for Palestinian’s donation.

I did not blame the party rally, but it would be nice if they made the rally for our own people first.

With that 10 million IDR we could help the refugee of Mt. Merapi from hunger and sickness. Help them to re-build their lives. Help our children have a good construction for their school.

I just wish that the PKS leader will switch the donation to our own country. Hope that the PKS party made the rally not because they want to increase their popularity.

I just wish .....

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

A letter from a friend

We have been friend for ages.

I remembered she always came to our office in the evening. She sat in her favorite chair and started to share her experience with her customers on that day or she came to my friend desk and browsed my friend’s music collection.

She always looks fresh even though it’s already 5.00 pm, her make up never fade. Maybe because her job as a customer service made her to be like that.

I wondered why she could be friends with my colleague because she worked at different group, later on I found out that she was worked as temporary staff in our group before. No wonder my friends knew her especially because her superior was my colleague.

I was too shy to introduce myself when she finally noticed me. She asked my name and suddenly with her “friendly” voice told me that she knew my sister. She told me that she just went back from my home town and worked together with my sister.

Then … the conversations suddenly flow like a river. Started from that day, every time she came to my office, she always greets me.

Especially when she finally moved to our group and worked with the same division with me, our topic of communication broaden.

We became closer when her office moved to the same floor with mine. I think, she made it as a habit to visit me.

She always find something new to share with me; sometimes she shared with me her week end activity as a house wife or shared her new book or shared about the weather or her experience during her holiday. It seems that she had a bunch of stories to inform me.

One of my staff said that she was the only person in the company who could make me calm while I was bursting of anger. Yes, she was the only person in the company who could make me stop my anger.

Hahaha….I remembered, one day I was lost my temper up to my head and she usual .. with her “ordinary friendly voice” came to my office and shared her experience of something that she read. She did not realize that my staff was frightened to hell because of what she did. They worried that I would yell at her.

What an old story ….

Now, it’s been almost 16 years since I met her at my office, and she is still the same person that I know.

The person whose kind, naïve, stubborn (the stubborn person that I have ever met) and passionate (sometimes she did not mean to flirt; she just did it because she is a kind person, until that person showed their affection. Then she realized that she had made a mistake).

The person who has the same in common with me, we love book, music and film, except that she’s a broader range of music genre and films.

The only person who never talk something bad behind me, the only person who always criticize my shirt, my socks, my tie…

We have shared everything along our life, our dreams, our sadness, everything.

She is not the perfect one but I know that every time I need a shoulder to cry on, she always there for me.

Vocabulary Notes

I have been starting to update my vocabulary notes for almost 2.5 2 years a go and never finished. I just wrote the word and never looked up the meanings in my language.

Then I started to add “Dictionary” updates through my Yahoo Mail, but again I never updated it to my notes.

Today with much proud I could say that finally “keep my vocabulary notes update” become my habit.

It is nice to know new word and keep remembering it….

Monday, May 15, 2006

Andari's Happy Mother's Day Greetings Card

.... Her First Card

Happy Mother's Day Mom !!

I promise every night I learn Mat, Bahasa Indonesia, Sains, IPS, Agama and Bahasa Inggris.
I love you forever !!!!

Thank you Mom for loving me forever, every day and every time !

I love you Mom.

From : Andari
To : Mom

... Her second cards

Happy Mothers Day !!!!

Mom, I love you so much and thank you for schooling me, gift me a present.
I love you so much for loving me forever, My heart is cold, I need you in home, in school, in class and in every where !

I love you.
Thank you Mom
Posted by Picasa

Sunday, May 14, 2006

Happy Mother's Day

"I promise every night I learn Math, Bahasa Indonesia, Sains, IPS, Agama and Bahasa Inggris. I love you forever !!!! Thank you Mom for loving me forever, every day and every time ! I love you Mom".

That was written in the hand made "Happy Mother's Day" card given by my youngest daughter.
I just woke up and had done my ritual morning with her - asked her sleeps - when she took a white envelope under her pillow.

She smiled and told me that she had written a letter for me. At first I thought it was her usual imaginary letter but when I read it, I was so surprised.

It was funny to read her English words, so I asked her who taught her how to make the greetings card. I thought it was her assignment in her English class. But she said that she watched Disney's channel and she found out that 14 March is Mother's Day.

I know that I am not the "super" mom for her; I am not like her other's friend's mom who had time to pick their daughter up from school. It's been a long time since I made her favorite cake.
Sometimes I felt annoyed when she tried to distract me from my book, from my work, from my assignment or when she turned on the television while I was listening to my favorite music.

But one thing that I know, that I always do my best to be a good mother for both of my daughters.
Therefore, read her "funny" English greetings card made me realized that I'm still her "hero", her "great mom".

I remembered my mother told me that "It was not longer, time will fly so fast, and suddenly you can not hold her like before, you can not carry her anymore. Therefore you have to cherish this moment."

My mother was correct.

My first daughter, she is in her "teenage world". It seems just yesterday when she asked me to hold her every time she wants to sleep. It seems just yesterday when she never ignored my advice.

Yes, time flies so fast and without I could realize my youngest daughter soon will be in her teenage world.

I hope I still have a chance to be her "hero", to be her "great mom", as my mom did it to me. I wish GOD still grant me that opportunity.

"Happy Mothers Day !!!! Mom, I love you so much and thank you for scholing me, give me a present. I love you so much for loving me forever. My heart is so cold, I need you in home, in school, in class, and in every where I go. Thank you Mom."
That was her other card hang on the door of my bedroom. What a beautiful day day......

Happy Mother's Day to every mom...…

Short Message Service

One of my friends once said to me that we could not express our feelings through SMS.
I thought that he had tried to find excuses at that time.
So I just laughed.

But after my little fight with my best friend, I have to admit that it was true.
We could write anything, using several words, but still it can not express our feelings.
It depends on the receiver’s and the sender’s mood.

We had been friends for ages but still when it comes to misunderstanding the words then nothing can rectify the situation.

It started when I sms her for some information.
Everything was going on smoothly until one of “my comments” of her “busyness” made her upset.
I thought that we made a joke as usual but unfortunately she misunderstood my “feelings”.
We end up our sms with a little bit disappointment.

I thought SMS could be a bridge for our “lack of communication”.
I thought I can rely on SMS to save the bill.

But by looking in to my last experience, I doubt it.

I should know that “verbal communication” even though through “phone” is much better than SMS.
Still people can manipulate their voice, but the intonation, the word that they choose could reflect their feeling.

I will not say “good bye” to SMS, but I will be extra careful with that “things”.

Saturday, May 13, 2006

New Look ?

Wow….finally I have free time after finishing my English test !!! Two days without home work and writing assignment.

I woke up this morning and browse several providers. It seems that I will change my provider to with the same name.

I felt attached to since Blogger was my first friend in blog world. Anyway, I will try to change the template of my blogger while at the same time learn more about

One thing that doesn’t have is categorizing the articles.

Let’s see …. Will let everybody knows when the time comes.

Thursday, May 11, 2006

The loss of man's soul

by Steven Spielberg

I liked the music … it’s telling you the suffering, the losses of man’s soul.

The rest, the story, the picture, told you everything…about the ego of a country, about the dignity of the country.

I felt sorry for the family who lost their husband, son, brother in Munich, but my sympathy was for the person who’s dedicated their life to do the revenge.

The question left after I watched this movie was …when we finally live in peace ?

All about Politic

by Stephen Gaghan

I remembered one of the question at yahoo.answer asked about the oil in the Middle East and American politics when finally I saw this movie. Questioned the American position of the Middle East Oil Business.

The movie did not answer it all, but it was interesting to watch the beliefs of fanatical people, the greedy people, the oil and the politic connected one in another this movie.

How the decision could change people’s life, destroyed the good one and left the bad one. How the fanatical beliefs made a father lost his son, washed the brain of the poorest one to become a martyr for nothing.

Finally I had the picture of the fanatical people who destroyed my country, Indonesia , who destroyed their own people …

Anyway, the picture was beautiful, especially at the last part, take my breath away.

This is a hard movie …don’t watch is just for fun. I think I have to watch it once again to get the “main” message.

Sunday, May 07, 2006

The Good Fight

I have made my decision. I will follow the path that God has given to me; follow the opportunity that God has given to me. No need to worry even though this is the battle of the reality and the dream.

So here I come …; preparing my interview to be the best interview as usual.

While at the same time live my life as if today is my last day, still preparing for Mexican Gift Show in August 2006 (, still taking my English course every day, still trying to finish my goals in my 43things, in my consumption….

What a beautiful day, what a challenging battle….

The roller-coaster is my life;
Life is a fast, dizzying game;
Life is a parachute jump;
It’s taking chances, falling over
And getting up again;
It’s mountaineering;
It’s wanting to get to the very top of yourself
And feeling angry and dissatisfied
When you don’t manage it

By Paulo Coelho – Eleven Minutes

Saturday, May 06, 2006

An Option

I just got a letter and a VCD of my interview during Asian Living Exhibition at Offenbach, Frankfurt.

It was nice to know how people remembered me, .. kind, helpful and friendly person … , while the truth is during the process of the interview I am the only one who refused to use the text that they have given to me.

But it is not the letter that makes me feel a little bit miserable. In fact, the letter gave me great pleasure of my first exhibition.

It was a phone call from a head hunter that makes me feel a little bit miserable, a little bit in doubt.

Oh….GOD must be laugh at me now.

So Ironic, a phone cal that I always wait in my previous life as an employee ... a phone call that always boots my energy to look for another opportunity. But now … after I have decided to resign and try to make my dream a live, the lovely head hunter phone call always put me in difficult situation…

Makes me run to my own world, asking the same question again and again, “Is this the phone call that I want to hear from ? Is this the answer of my pray ? Is this the signage that GOD trying to show me ?

The questions that is hard to answer.

The questions that make me look back to my current life; the questions that make me review my life, the questions that make me difficult to come out from my nutshell.

The answer that is hard to say.

The answer that makes my life change, the answer that makes my little daughter disappointed, the answer that makes me put my dream back in the corner.

I wish GOD did not create a word names “An Option”, “A Choice”.

Be a good girl or a bad girl, having a master degree or bachelor, work as an employee or run own company, full time employee or temporary employee, married or being single, having children or not, be a good wife or a career woman, …and another choice, another option…until finally there is no option for us ..

Maybe this prediction that I saved was something that GOD try to remind me ….

Your keywords for today are 'reinvention' and 'exploration.' It's time to examine your current role in life and ask yourself if it really suits you. Where do you want to go next? Who do you want to be?

Friday, May 05, 2006

A review of "hating alison ashley"

This is a story of a young teenage girl which does not have most of the girls in their teenage have, up to date dress, peer group, and a friend.

Which reminds me of my teen age life …; the world where there is no responsibility, where everybody looks so weird, the world where we can explore anything, where school is the best place to visit or maybe the last place to visit …?

This is a story of a young teenage girl which has the potential where most of the girls in her class don’t have….

This is a story of a young teenage girl looking outside her world with the jealousy because her new friends “Alison Ashley” seem to have everything that she ever wanted.

Until one night during the camp talent drama, she realized the she has the potential to become a writer and the “hating Alison Ashley” was the person to be sorry because her family never pays attention to her life.

…So. Is it worth to consume..? Yes..but only the story ..if you can stand to watch it’s excessively long and trivial story …

Monday, May 01, 2006

In a Nutshell

Happiness comes from within. It is not dependent on eternal things or on other people. You become vulnerable and can be easily hurt when your feelings of security and happiness depend on the behavior and actions of other people. Never give your power to anyone else …. (p. 64 – Messages from the Masters)

How beautiful if we could ignore other’s behavior and action. But most of the times we always depend on other people. A child depends on their parents, a husband depends on his wife (or vice versa), we depend on our colleague; and all of that interaction will bring us to give our highest power to some one else’s.

It’s not an easy thing to become less vulnerable or hard to be hurt especially if it is relate to some one closer.

Every time I try my best not to give my highest power, the happiness - the power that I have within myself – and every time I become vulnerable.

Every time I try my best to bring the happiness out of my nutshell and every time it only last less than a day ….

I wish, I really wish that I can keep that happiness for a day ….; just to make me stronger than before, just to make me understand of my karma, my beings in this world.

I read in other’s blog about their wishes of count their happiness every day….

Maybe I should withdraw myself from this world and live for a while in my nutshell only to count the happiness that I can keep for the day…

And maybe by doing that …I can see world brighter than ever….