Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Christmas News

The Christmas Mass
After more than 6 years, we went to Bartolommeo’s Church, this year we went to the church of my parish, Keluarga Kudus.
The reason was so simple, just because my lovely little daughter be an angel during the Mass.

She’s so cute and funny. Both of us, her sister, and me smile when she passes us. Instead of gave her smile to the manger, she gave her big smile and her cute face to us. The funniest thing was, this time we went to church with her Santa’s puppet. Lucky that she didn’t push people to shake hand with her Santa

Christmas Eve Dinner
As usual, every Christmas Eve, I always prepare the dinner for my family.
I started this since I was in college.
My mom always mad at me because I always made my decision in the last minute, and she must order her staff to buy all the things that I need.
The worst part was, after gone back from the Church, my family have to wait until the dinner ready.

But not this time, for the 1st time in my year, I could prepare my broccoli cream cheese soup, tenderloin steak with brown sauce and spaghetti bolognaise, right on time. The dessert, Hazelnut and Chocolate ice cream from Walls ….

And when all my children and family were in their dream, I was busy with all the presents. Wrapped it with a bunch of memory of their request for their Christmas presents. No one knows that Santa came and visit me couple of days before.

Christmas Day.
Hm … this is little bit different since my in-laws are Moslem and they can't stand to have Christmas lunch with European menu.

Therefore, as usual, the menu always the traditional one, mix of Manado and Sunda. As my daughter said, “Hahahaha… tomorrow we will have lebaran menu”.

And like others, Christmas Day is always the day when family get together, make plan for the New Year, gossiping, laughing, remembering the funniest thing, the children playing, watching a DVD, and … eating …

What a wonderful Christmas this year……

Monday, December 25, 2006

Christmas Eve

I'm dreaming tonight
Of a place I love
Even more than I usually do.
And although I know
It's a long road back
I promise you, I'll be home for Christmas.

You can count on me.
Please have snow and mistletoe and presents under the tree.
Christmas Eve will find me
Where the love-light gleams.
I'll be home for Christmas, If only in my dreams.

I always have a dream to be home for Christmas…
A wish that I always whisper in every Christmas Eve…

Until last night, during the Christmas Eve Mass
When I looked my beautiful little daughter be an angel
When I watched her pretty sister sat nicely along the Mass
I realized that He actually made my dream come true ..

He gave me the most precious gift I’ve ever have in my life.

And during my Christmas prayer,
All I asked only the strength to hug, to trust and to love

And to live with my dream, .. be home for Christmas

... Christmas Eve, 24 December 2006

Thursday, December 21, 2006

My Christmas Song

Chestnuts roasting on an open fire,
Jack Frost nipping on your nose,
Yuletide carols being sung by a choir,
And folks dressed up like Eskimos.

Everybody knows a turkey and some mistletoe,
Help to make the season bright.
Tiny tots with their eyes all aglow,
Will find it hard to sleep tonight.

They know that Santa’s on his way,
He’s loaded lots of toys and goodies on his sleigh.
And every mother’s child is going to spy,
To see I reindeer really know how to fly.

And so I’m offering this simple phrase,
To kids from one to ninety-two,
Although its been said many times, many ways,
A very Merry Christmas to you

… Hm 3 days more to go before Christmas eve, before I go to church and wondering my preparation of celebrating the Joy of Christmas, the Joy of knowing that Jesus was born to save us…

And it has been more than 7 years when the first time I heard Fourplay play this song. The song that remembering me of white Christmas, the song that remembering me of a cup of jasmine tea more than 7 years ago at Bats, Shangri-la.

The song that could awaken me from my dream of the old days, when sharing a story is part of our live.

The song that could take my mind fly away to a place called “dream”, to a place called “reality”, to a word name “memories” …

So nothing much I can say, only Have a very Merry Christmas to you …

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Water - a Deepa Mehta film

The widow should be long suffering until death, self-restrained and chaste. A virtuous wife who remains chaste when her husband has died goes to heaven. A woman who is unfaithful to her husband is reborn in the womb of a jackal.

The Laws of Manu, Chapter 5 verse 156 – 161Dharmashastras (Sacred Hindu texts)

This is a story of Chuiya, an 8-year-old girl who is widowed by the untimely death of her husband and Kalyani, a beautiful 20-years old woman who has been a widow since the age of 9.

In accordance with India tradition, Chuiya must be sent to a home – for not to say an ashram for widow – in Varanasi, where Hindu widows live in penitence to atone for their sins. Her feisty presence influences the lives of other widows.

During her stay in that Ashram, she quickly makes friend with Kalyani, who radiates a child-like innocence. The only beautiful widow whose hair is not shorn, as a nod to her profession that was forced upon her at an early age by the powerful head widow Madhumati, as a prostitute.

Kalyani spends her day either playing with her puppy Kaalu, or talking to the small statue of the God Krishna she has in her room. Her nights though are surreal. Gulabi, friends of Madhumati the powerful head of widows, took her across the water to a Brahmin house in Rawalpur. Instead of feel sorry of herself, she accepts this as her karma.

Because of Chuyia’s innocent antics, Kalyani meets Narayana, a young Brahman Gandhian idealist, who has just passed his bar exams for law. Narayana fall in love with Kalyani at the first sight and propose to marry her, even though he knows that Kalyani is a widow.

When Narayana find out his father’s relationship with Kalyani, whom Narayana has just asked to marry, he becomes disgusted with both his traditions and his father, but still he resolves to marry Kalyani. In the meantime, Kalyani, afraid of the fact that Narayana will discover her dark secret, drown herself in the Ganges.

Soon after the death of Kalyani, Madhumati send Chuiya to replace Kalyani as the ashrams’ prostitute. Chuiya, because of her innocence, thought that Madhumati would let her play for a while before sent her back to her parents home. While in fact, Madhumati send her to visit Narayana’s father, who then rapes Chuiya ……

… It’s a beautiful, funny, sadness, ironic movie, I’ve ever seen. I was so speechless for almost 114 minutes. I feel that I was there with no strength to help them.

While at the same time, I’m questioning the reason of that law. Trying to understand of Gandhi speech at the railway station, “….before I thought that God is the truth. But now, I know that the truth is the God…”.

The truth …; The truth is questionable; it depends on the person who get the benefit of it.
Like the conversation between Shakuntala, an elderly brahmana widow, and the Pundit.

Shakuntala : “Punditji, you have studied the Holy Scriptures. Is it written that widows should be treated badly ?

Pundit : “The scriptures say that widows have three options. They can burn with their dead husband, or lead a life of self-denial, or, if the family permits, marry their husband’s younger brother. However, a law was recently passed, which favors widow remarriage.

Shakuntala : “A law ? Why don’t we know about it ?”

Pundit : “We (men) ignore the laws that don’t benefit us.

And I have to agree with Gandhi, the truth is the God. Because we tend to choose, the truth based on the benefit for ourselves and keeps the truth as our belief.

I believe that every human being has their own path of life, has their own destiny. But to take the freedom of someone’s life is something beyond my understanding. To believe that be a widow means that half of their life’s dead and don’t have the right to live as a normal people …. Is something I cannot accept ….

Sunday, December 03, 2006

Where have you been ?

Yeah … where have I been lately ? Looking back into my life for the past three weeks, nothing much can I say, only I’ve been busy with the system changes plan of my company.

For almost three weeks, my office moved to Borobudur Hotel, the well-known hotel for their Oxtail Soup. We had a meeting with the Korean vendor, exchanged ideas, listened to their presentation based on our requirement, fight for the implementation phase, listened to the schedule of integration. Put a lot of the energy and emotion into that lovely project.

But I don’t want to share the discussion, too much pain there ….; I just want to share the Hotel, more interesting story than discussion with the Korean who could not speak English plus their smell of alcohol.

Oow…almost had forgotten….the Hotel …yes ..It’s been a long time ago, when I went to this hotel, just for dinner. My mom took me there almost every weekend to teach me table manner. During that time, she will notice all my bad habit, like watching people, the way I hold the knife, everything. What a nightmare ! Now, I have to thank her, for what she did.

It’s been a long time ago, when I used to swim in their swimming pool, stay at their room, feel and touch the smell of beautiful and clean hotel.

Now, after three weeks with the well-known hotel for the oxtail soup, I have to say that I will not visit that hotel again, except if I want to taste their oxtail soup.

The toilet, my standard of cleanliness, was way much of the five star hotels. Can’t believe it, the cleanliness standard like the 2 star hotels. Seems that they were lack of inspection, waste bin full of used toilet paper, the toilet was dirty.

The food, not more than 3 days, I could predict the menu. Seems that they don’t have enough variety recipes for vegetables, fish, chicken and meat. For not to say that their quality of meat was below of standard. I know that import meat is expensive but at least they can use our local meat with the highest quality.

However, I have to say “excellent” for their dessert. Hm …..the chocolate mouse, mango mouse, strawberry cake, caramel pudding, coconut pudding ….; all of them boost my weight up to above my standard….( have to reduce my weight after that .. )

The meeting room, this was disaster, they have to use fan because their air con did not work well. With more than 30 peoples bring their own laptop, you can imagine how hot the temperature in the board meeting room. Both of us sometimes loose our patience.

We have changed our meeting room several times, but still we felt like we were not in the 5 star meeting rooms.

I felt pity for this hotel. It’s hard to compare my childhood experience and the recent experience. Like heaven and hell. Walking along the lobby, my mind always tries to bring my childhood memory but every time it has vanished.

As somebody says, you have to live with the present …..

Wednesday, November 08, 2006


. My internet connection at home did not work for almost 2 days now. The technician promised to come yesterday, but for some reason he did not show up. I think its typical Telkom employee, snob and lazy. I hate it because I could not open my mail and browsing through the net. Well, just cross my finger that today everything will back to normal again.

Otherwise, have to open the internet during my way back to home or to the office with the latest EVDO only at certain area. I don’t know how to say, lucky or unlucky that I bought that small USB….

. Hm…nothing much to say only wants to give someone “a taste of his own medicine”. And let’s see the result.

. Don’t enough time to hibernate with my future plan of system changes. Have a meeting today but still have to catch up with the list of comment.

. Missed my grammar final test yesterday. Ian, the teacher, gave me a second chance. Means that I’ve to come early in Thursday at TBI to catch up for the grammar test..

. Got a lovely email from my him. Don't know to say, should I mad or cry or laugh. One thing that I know I don't want to fight.

Monday, November 06, 2006

Loosing Life

What a life !

Wake up early in the morning, smell the jasmine flower, watch the padma try to say good morning to the sun, the frangipani flower all over the path to the beach, the song of the bird welcoming their friends, and the song of the waves ….

Walking along the beach early morning, when the sun starts to show himself after long dark night.. Watching people pass by, children build a sand castle, dog try to catch the waves, surfer start to choose the best wave to surf.

Some people already busy with their jogging ritual while other just open their eyes and gave their sleepy look just to awake them from their happy dream. Honeymooners start to count their new days by looking the pretty – funny shelf.

Three puppies busy with themselves, try to catch each other. Happily roll over along the white sandy beach. Whilst the big one try to tease the small one – the bulldog and Chihuahua – what a lovely couple. And the puddle tries to encourage his female to walk with him and play with the waves.

The owner of the “umbrella” – the tend – lazily open the big umbrella and arrange the beach chair. Others just watching the activity ….

Watch the color of the birthday ceremony of small Pura at the beach where people bring the offering to shown their love to the GOD….

Yeah … what a life !

Read in my book – the 7 lively sins - LIFE LESSON # 44

You – and you alone – are in charge of creating that movie-for-one called your life. You – and you alone – are not only your own life writer, but life casting agent, director, producer, caterer, everything-er. IF YOU DON’T LIKE YOUR LIVE MOVIE … if you feel it’s too much ENTERPAINMENT and not enough ENTERTAINMENT … then it’s up to YOU – and YOU alone – to close down the movie set and re-cast and re-shot … and not waste another day shooting scenes that would be better off on the editing room floor

Yes, it’s damn right. It depends on me. Therefore losing my life – sometimes – is something I need to re-charge myself. To remind myself of my “dream”, the real dream. To let the creativity, the sense of smell, touch, come and visit my “brain”, my “body”, and my “senses”.

In fact, losing life, is something that older people prevent to hide it, prevent not to fall in that kind of activity. In the name of “IMAGE”. In the name of “CHILDISH”. For the grown up people “loosing life” is something related to children stuff.

We tend to forgot that actually on that children stuff lay down the powerful power to enlighten ourselves, the grown up people.

Anyway, back to real life again, another scene of our own movie start to cast the new daily episode. Like my neighbor blog write in his blog – every day we experiencing new life.

Sunday, November 05, 2006

Old friend from Past Life

Sometimes I wonder how two stranger’s people could connect only through a simple question. Somebody says it was just like a puzzle, a puzzle of your life, before we left this world; we have to complete the puzzle. Somebody says it was our “old” friend, someone that we know from the past, who would like to remind us of your purpose of life, or help us at the lowest time of our life.

I don’t know, maybe both of them was true. One thing that I do believe was if I met a new person and not more than 5 minutes we could share our thought, our view of life, and when we’re looking into the eyes we felt some kinds of ‘déjà vu’ then that person must be somebody close to me. Not in this event of life, but maybe in my past life.

I once met a New Jersey fire fighters. We stayed at the same hotel and didn’t go anywhere during dinner time. We met on that night; he sat in front of me. He had finish his dinner while me, just started my dinner.

He was still there listening to the song of the frog and the wind, when I finished my dinner. Then he went into receptionist area to get an advice for his tour of the next day. While me, just want to confirm my late check out.

Then, since am the only person there and the hotel staff needed someone to explain about the place, as predicted I gave my advice of his tour. After that, the rest was like a two old childhood friend met. Exchange stories of each other life, discussing the baliness culture, our wishes when we had to leave this earth, everything.

.... We didn’t exchange mail after that, only a birthday card and a sweet thank you phone call ….

Today, just 10 months after the 1st strange phenomena, I met somebody again. So strange, I was reading the information board of yoga activities when somebody asks me whether I’ve tried their yoga class.

I never met that person before and politely I informed her that I’ve been followed their yoga class several times during my visit to Bali. She asked me a common question and not more than 10 minutes, the story of her life, the burden of her life, dominated our communication.

… There is a difference between the first and second experience. The feeling of connection was stronger compare to the 2nd one. On the 1st one, it was like a water of the river, they could find their way to the sea. Whilst the 2nd one, I still feel the gap.

But one thing that I know, somehow, somewhere, the experience of today, was like a reminder of the purpose of my life. Something that I’ve been forgotten, the blissful feeling.

04 November 2006, Bali Spirit.

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Reason to Write

I’ve read in my neighbor blog about on experiencing life he started the discussion by question why some people write more than others. While in fact all of us have the same problems and excitements and experiences in our 24 hours day.

It’s a good post and good discussion too.

He stated in his writing that probably one of the cause that people just keep that kind of problems, excitement and experience in side and wait until it was enough to explode.

Hm…maybe. I remember my discussion with my fighting partner on the way back to home last night. “It’s been more than a week since your last post,” he said after I told him that I’ve been suffer of migraine for almost 3 days.

I tried to ask myself, whether I do keep that kind of experience, excitement and experience inside myself and BOOM .. post it to my blog ?

No. In my case, the correct statement is “feeling, emotion”. I need that emotion, feeling, to put the experience, excitement and problems in writing. I can’t keep it inside and explode it because the moment has gone.

I remember when I was working as a stringer journalist; I always try to bring back the “atmosphere” during the process of interview, by listening to some music at my lovely corner in my room. Or during the internship when I have to write the interview in the office (because it was a daily newspaper), since there’s no lovely corner or music, still I always bring back that emotion, that feeling, before I wrote the lead of the news.

So, back to the discussion, why some people writes more than others. For me there are several reasons.

Writing is not a simple task or job. For some people who do not like to write, they will find the difficulties to put their experience, their thought into words. They don’t know how to share their experience into something memorable.

For some people, writing is a need to release the feeling, emotion. As my neighbor, treespotter, said that “some of us (need) write because we probably have less of other output venues in our day. So we turned to writing as a delayed method of communication (as opposed to communicating to people in real time)”
The other reason is because we do not discipline ourselves to write our thought or experience our problem like the one who has a discipline to write.

I do believe that even though we have enough output venues in our day, still the emotion, the feeling to put that experience into writing is there. But I also do believe that for some people who do not like to write, even though they have the same experience, have the same emotion, still they can not put the experience into word.

Like my fighting partner said, “you have to discipline yourself” and it’s all about choices.

Sunday, October 15, 2006

Lost In Space

Sometimes, I get tired of this me first attitude
You are the one thing, that keep me smiling
That's why I'm always wishing hard for you
Cos your light, shines so bright
I don't feel no solitude
You are my first, star at night
I'd be lost in space without you

And I'll never lose my faith in you
How, will I ever, get to heaven, if I do

Feels, just so fine
When we touch the sky me and you
This is my idea of heaven
Why can't it always, be so good
But it's allright, I know you out there
Doing what you've gotta do
You are my soul, satelite
I'd be lost in space without you

.... Ligthhouse Family .....

Saturday, October 14, 2006

The Underlying Principle

The feeling is there, love, hatred and anger, side by side. But this time, Love is the most influence compare to the others.

Please, give me a second chance. Look at the underlying principle that can win the hatred and anger. I do believe that we still love each other. We have traveled a long the way to keep our love a live. I’m so sorry that I said that, I know that it was wrong. But please, try to understand my point of view also. Both of us have our own interpretation of that word.

And the woman just sit quietly with her memory fly away, try to put together her scattered picture of their dream, the never-ending dream. She asked herself, when was the last time he touch her. When was the last time she feels his love through his eyes, his softness kiss. When was the last time they talk and whisper “I love you” ; “I miss you”.

She remembered that night, after their long fight, when she called him only to say, I’m sleepy, I couldn’t wait for you. And she heard his breathing, the breathing of love.

But it’s up to you. This is my offer. We still need each other. I need you as much as you needed me. It’s been a need for me to help you during your tough time and it’s been a need for you to ask my help. You don’t have anybody to share your crazy day, your problem, you only have me. Same with me, I don’t have anybody to share my happiness, my problem, I only have you.. The last word she heard before she feels the softness of his skin.

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Feeling Blue

I’m very not in my usual mood. It started since last Friday after long hours discussion and phone call.

The anger and hatred is there ..... No matter how hard I try to release them, it's still there.

I wish I know how to cure this anger and hatred
But apparently, for some reason, I could not do that.
The worst part, I could not let it go as I always do, put it all in writing.
Suddenly, I don’t even know how to gather all that scattered word in my mind.
I just know that the word is there, flying everywhere, and I could not pick them up.

I miss those days, ....
I miss those days, where I just can sit and talk and talk
I miss those days ……

I think I need Mia's Hug Shirt . I need a shoulder to cry on.

Phew … it’s time to put my “smiling” mask again. As someone said when I met him at the elevator yesterday, “It’s nice to see you, seems that you’re happy all the time” …..

Monday, October 09, 2006


The dinner went well last night……

The speech from the COO was just an introduction and little bit of his working style. How he would challenge us through our plan. He told us that his common question is “are you business people or finance people”. The bottom line is we have to know every single details of the growth of our division, make the decision through the business people’s eye.

We all laughed when he mentioned that his day to day live would be from office to home, home – office. Occasionally he plays golf. His hobby to music. One of my colleagues could not stand to ask whether it is a good news or bad news. Because it means that we have to work long hours and have a meeting at karaoke…

I like the restaurant; it doesn’t look like the spooky “Roro Jongrang” except the food. It is slightly better than Roro Jongrang. Love the desert, banana fried with cheese and chocolate, mango ice ( share it with my friend ) but not the poffertjes ( Dutch kue cubit – I don’t know how to translate it to English ). The strawberry juice …. Hm …tasty.

Met my ex-boss, who’s now become the HR Director of one of foreign bank. Both of us were surprised. He looks younger than before. He told me that his child is in Cornel University taking engineering. When I introduced him to my HR Director, she told me that she already knew him. What a small world …..

Anyway …. I was happy with the dinner; finally I had a chance to meet with some of my colleagues that I’ve never seen. Have a chance to talk with them with interesting topic instead of boring one, Work.

The COO, as he mentioned in his speech, after the dinner finished – came from nowhere – suddenly showed in front of me and started his 1st question about my contact center division, about the incoming calls, the IVR, the new plan that I want to implement …

C’est la vie …. After the joy and relaxing time, comes the reality …

Sunday, October 08, 2006


I had a nightmare class last Friday. I’ve never had that kind of class in my 3 years training experience. It’s like hell.

It started two months ago, when I reviewed the performance of my customer care staff especially the call center. Their motive and moral was low, as not to say that they were de-motivated, apathetic and no service attitude. So, I proposed to my HR, to change the process of recruitment besides the new scheme of salary. In that proposal, voluntary I told them that I would give the service excellence training to the new recruiter, based on my experience as a trainer. My HR people, without saying a word, give their 100 % approval and support my idea. Whilst at the same time, asked me to train the other department new recruiter also.

My first class, started last Friday ….. training the new recruiter of customer service department.

Couldn’t believe my eyes, when we were given them the energizer, they acted like a bunch of young adult people on their teenage period. They couldn’t control themselves. When it started with a game of service, which was a preliminary introduction before they practice it through the role-play, they just ignore it. I noticed that there’s 2 girl, which become their informal leader, or in my language “the terrorist”. They could distract the class from doing what I’ve instructed. Especially when I share the dos and don’ts of a front line customer service, that 2 terrorist, given their “what a boring fact” look.

When it was near “sholat Jumat”, I offered them to be in class at 1 pm or 1.30 pm, with the consequences if they chose 1.30 then automatically the training will finish half an hour after the normal schedule. My last word before break was “If you can’t respect yourself then how could you respect your customer” ….

Back on time, and as predicted, that two lovely terrorist was not in class. They were busy shopping around, and showed in class 30 min. after the class run. Instead of saying sorry, they were busy showing their stuff.

I couldn’t stand it anymore … , I was start to explode when my colleague notice it. He took over the class and asked me to wait outside. He told the class that I was observing him and if they fail then they will lost the job. After that the two terrorist suddenly acted like a frightened dog.

My other half-day class then went as expected and they just realized the purpose of the game that I instructed them on the 1st half day before.

To tell the truth, that day was my 1st experience of that kind of class. I’ve never had a class like before. There’s always a bunch of terrorist but not like that one, and the terrorist usually a boy not a girl.

They were not a young adult people anymore. They had finished their college and had a job before. If they just finished their second grade, then I could understand. But they were not. Both of us, me and my colleague felt old suddenly.

Are they the reflection of generation “Y” ? I know generation “Y” is different with generation “X”. Generation Y looking into future as something “abstract”, their style is different with Generation X, where Xers was more entrepreneur while Yers more selfish “so what ?”.

But what I've seen in my class is all about “ATTITUDE” and ‘ETHIC’. They parents must be much older than me. They were “baby boomers” generation. Besides that there's no difference of “ETHICAL” things,and “VALUE". That two always stays the same in every generation.

Just wondering, what kind of generation my children have ? Worst than what I see in class ? According to my friend, not all of generation Y was like that. The way they act like that is because of their level of status economy social. Is that true ? I don’t know. I am going to have another class sometimes next week. Will do the comparison after that…

Thursday, October 05, 2006

Today's Update

The traffic jam on the way to the office was a nightmare lately. I could not give a good example to my staff. Half of my way to the office, I fall asleep. It’s because – the classic reason – wake up early in the morning for “sahur” then instead of back to sleep, I just watch the news.
Review my service excellence training material, add 3 pages and changed the role-play situation. Have to give training tomorrow…; still have difficulties in arranging the time. Let’s see … what is going to happen tomorrow.

Got a “lullaby song” from my boss because of “Reader Letter” at Jawa Pos, yesterday. As usual, my staff does not have a service sense, working by follow the book, afraid to take a pro-active approach. So, after that lullaby song, called a meeting to some of my staff and gave them my beautiful speech of service

Had a fight with my friend because of his critic on me. Then the topic went to North Korea nuclear, the Moslem country nuclear. The issue of why Moslem country can’t have the permission from Uncle Sam to have nuclear weapon. Then jumped to another topic of expatriate who works in Indonesia, especially Indian. All of that crappy stuff, made me furious. Could not see the relation of that three topic. One thing that I know was his intention to do the revenge.

Attend the break fasting invitation of my company. They combined that invitation with a creativity game. And because we were so creative, we just choose the song today and combine it with parody. I finally made the decision to participate with my staff as a singer. It’s funny because most of the women singer actually is not a Moslem, they were Christian. We come to the stage with a piece of paper in our hand. Just in case, we forgot the lyric. Not bad, we won the 1st price. I was in my English course when they bombarded me with a text, saying that we won the 1st price – Not bad huh, for the amateur.

Run to my English class at TBI. Arrived there at 6.05 pm. Haven’t break the fasting, so I run to Ibu’s for a glass of hot tea (sweet, off course) and one free risoles. Got a homework, have to make a review of Wallace and Gomit film. A film kind of Bart Simpson, which is not for children. There are some words of innuendos. My friend who's crazy of being a movie director, laughed at me because I told him that I was crying when I saw Lake House movie, when we discussed that Wallace and Gomit film.

The worst part, my car got another scratch. @#$%^&*()@#$%^&*(@#$%^&*(,@#$%^&*, this is the second time within this week my driver crashed my car into the wall, after on Tuesday hit a bike. I don’t know how to say since he was working for my mother more than 10 years, so have to accept my mom's heritage.
Got an email from my buyer-to-be. She add her order but asked me to re-sign whatever paper. After the “scratch issue”, I lost my patient. Therefore, I sent her email asking the purpose of re-signing the contract. Oh Rusia ……!!!!
Anyway ... it's late now. Am sleepy. Miss my pilow ....

Saturday, September 30, 2006

My Friday and Weekend

I felt exhausted yesterday. After the meeting in the morning, suddenly I have to prepare the presentation for Monday and Tuesday to share our dept plan for 2007 and 2008. While at the same time, suddenly the Finance and GS people rushed me to give them my number for next year.

I don’t understand those people. They thought I could pick the number easily. Do they know that all the number relate to a thing call “plan” ?

… Well, all of that chaos made me forgot my appointment with my friends from my previous company. It has been months since I met them in July. I miss them. Wondering the fairy gossip mother spread the news. Nothing more interesting then listening to that kind of story during happy hours in the evening. Like we used to do.

I remember one of my friends said that there’s no “friends” term in work. You can’t find a friend there. I was so angry when he reminds me of his lovely words. Until suddenly I read my “Power” book, then I understand what he means by that.

Yeah, it’s difficult to find a “friend” there. Especially when everybody try to save their own, to get the attention from the “master” that they were number one.

However, I don’t want that“minor” things ruin my life now. So, every time I feel that my life in the office like hell, I push “my pause” button. If it didn’t work, then I put my Ipod on.

… What’s next ?


Only feel that I should bring my camera every time and take the snapshot during my way back home. I was stuck in the middle of traffic jam at Otista, East Jakarta, yesterday, and I saw a bunch of worker who works for buss way took a nap on the buss way road. I felt sorry for them. It must be hard for them.

Tibo, Dominggus and Marianus, read their story at the Catholic Magazine. I can’t say that they were innocent but the treatment they got from our government was horrible. It’s beyond the human right value. I could not understand the arrogance of the official public prosecutor. Theirs request was so simple, it won’t harm anybody. Our government said that we have to respect one another, respect the diversity of the religion. In this case, I don’t think that they walk what they talk.

The Devils wears Prada. My young adult specialist in film at TBI, we add his name from Rana to Rana Spielberg, criticize my habit of buying that pirate DVD. He told me to watch that film at the theater. Hm…he makes me think of something. This time, I will watch that movie at the theater. Hehehe… I will run from my office at 4 pm then go the theater by myself. Wondering what it feels…..

Weekend. Besides one of my family wedding reception and bunch of my DVD’s collection, I have my homework presentation.

.. Wish I could add the list by reading one of my book collections

Friday, September 29, 2006

A story about "Take the Lead"

by Liz Friedlander

Fascination – Nat King Cole
.. The opening song at the ballroom dance competition ..

It was fascination
I know
And it might have ended at the start
Right then, at the start
Just a pacing glance
Just a brief romance
And it might have gone
On my way
Empty hearted

It was fascination
I know
Seeing you alone
With the moonlight above
Then I touch your hand
And next moment
I kiss you
Fascination turned to love

It was fascination
I know
Seeing you alone
With the moonlight above
Then I touch your hand
And next moment
I kiss you
Fascination turned – to – love

Watching this film, reminds me of my wishes, learn Tango
Adopted from the true story of Pierre Dulain, a dance teacher, who taught a group of in-detention kids to reform themselves through ball dance class, where nobody believes that he would succeed, was something different. Especially because most of the films like “encouraging to something that no one believe” are in the sport area, for not to say all.

It was nice to learn Rock, the astonished boy, finally could make a good decision for himself – be a follower of a gang – to be someone who’s responsible for his own life.

Learned the philosophy, that the man lead the steps but it is also depends on the woman, whether she trust the man to lead the step, that the choice and trust play the important things of the beautiful dance. While at the same time, the man learned to respect the woman.

It’s not a boring movie, full of beautiful dance like Tango, Fox Trot and Ballroom dance.

Oh .. I envy people who could Tango …

Between Heaven and Hell *

We learn the intonation in heavy syllable today. It was so fun especially because Rana, my youngest second grade friends, were in. He was so obsess to be a movie director and every single things he convert it as a scene. His imagination beyond our expectation.

When we have to give simple statement using the heavy syllable, then I started with “ Rana Spielberg got a scholarship from Lim Kwok College in KL”. Afterwards the other statement roll out like it’s been years in his memory.

He called me a “hippy mother” because of the subject of white lies that we discuss. Last week we talked about innuendoes and compared with Bahasa. We knew that we have that kind of language in our own, but we did not know how we called it in our grammatical.

We always made a joke in every single session of our unit. The worst part was when we discussed about innuendoes because Rana could not stand of himself to find that “innuendo” word.

I love my class. No matter how bad my day in the office, every time I enter my English room, I felt my new energy automatically took place the old one. It seems that my class likes a nutshell for me.

I remember last night, my friend text me, she told me that she couldn’t handle her workload anymore, so she decided to go to Borobudur hotel for a massage. She asked me whether I would like to join her. I thanked her and told her that I’m already at my lovely nutshell. I don’t want to replace my time at my “nutshell” with the massage.

The truth is I have a bad day in our office. We have implemented the new pre paid program registration as advised by our government. Automatically, this new system plus the new program have an impact in the number of customers activation. We started the program on 26 September and as predicted, there was a little bit of chaos. My boss yelled at me like hell and panicked. He accused me by not telling him the truth. In fact, I did not have the picture of our customer activation. I only have the calls traffic.

Therefore, like a good troops, I changed the staff composition of every shift. Emergency called that was my instruction to my one down.

Yesterday morning, I have the report that the new shift arrangement worked. The number of our customer increased. I was happy.

But, as Gus Dur has the “whisper person” so were him. Too bad that the person did not tell him the correct one. In the evening, I have the worst email from him. Blaming my team as the cause of this trouble and copied it to our division team. I was so angry but I have to find a way to explain the truth.

I didn’t have much time yesterday, have to interview my call center candidate and at the same time try to prove that there was an improvement. I felt so bad that I have to do the interview while at the same time do the calculation.

But have to say that it was worth. I can show to my boss that the number looks greater because of the accumulation. The “whisper person” tries to emphasize that whatever the reason the number was getting higher. I felt that I want to yell at her but I know that it was not a good way to encounter. Thus, wore my smile mask on my face, I told her nicely, by given the comparison.

The result …. Have to put it on written today …..

Phew, ….since today is the time to shake our body; I will go home as early as possible and watch my bunch of pirate. I try to be like silverlines but as soon as I put my DVD on, my sleepy eyes will do the reaction. Or maybe I will do my yoga. The problem is I'm fasting. It's been two days since I made my decission to do the fasting.

The summary ... Nothing else to say, my English class cured my stress and relief my burden yesterday. Have to thank my lovely class.

* Written on 28 and 29

Thursday, September 28, 2006

No Title

After struggled with my English course progress test a couple months ago, finally I could catch up my grade as before. I thought that it would be worst since I never touch or does my grammar practice after the course like before, but hehehe…maybe the fairy mother was being nice…

Well, life’s seems so busy recently. I had to cancel my yoga on last Friday because of the silly meeting, which ended at 7.00 pm. My yoga class started on 6.30 pm at Four Season, and with the lovely buss way development, it took almost one hour from Kebon Sirih. That meeting on Friday really ruined my day, especially because I have to attend the seminar of our group growth on Saturday.

Anyway, I have a good time after that … ; or maybe because I pretend to have a good time by shopping at Zara. Finally I got a blouse to match with my skirt :)

Visited my neighbor blog and got the new idea to release my tension … watch my DVD’s collection. Hm…thanks to silverline, who gave me the idea.

The rest .. was like before except for the fasting things and my English class.

I tried to respect my husband by do the fasting, especially on the 1st day of Ramadhan. It went normal until I heard my lovely manadonese traditional snack seller came and offered me to buy the snack. It was so tempting. I couldn’t stand myself to break my fasting. So, like a 3 years old kid, I asked my husband permission, apologize because I have to break the fasting….

… hm…it’s time to go back to my computer game …;

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Lost in Friends with Money

by Nicole Holofcener

What should I say ? That yes, woman when they reach certain age, they started too worried about themselves, their children, their lives, their friends ? Moreover, sometimes they were less patient ?

This film try to picture of the quartet of life-long friends who have achieved a level of comfort in their lives, even Jennifer Aniston, who work as a maid by her own choice; and all of them have their own un-settled problem, like sex, aging, affair and charity events.

It suppose to be good, because their problem is people’s everydays live, our own problem, our day- to day un-settled problem.

However, unfortunately, I didn’t see their struggle to solve their problem, or even their partner dealt with their wives problem.

It seems that the director let us to make our own “journey”, our own interpretation, which is at the end make me lost. Like our own routine, having breakfast, nothing special.

However, besides that “lost” thing, I found something interesting, reminds me of my mom when she advice me, “Accept the reality, you are not younger anymore. You’re a grown up woman (not to say “Old”).”.

Hilarious - She's the Man

by Andy Fickman

It’s Shakespeare’s Twelfth Night, translated to prep school soccer and this film has been made 11 years ago. It’s called “Just One of the Guys. My mistake”.

The film started when a teenage girl, Viola, discovers her soccer team has been cut from her school. She got the idea to disguises herself as her twin brother and takes his place at his new boarding school for two weeks.

As like other teenage girl , she falls in love with her new roommate, who’s the captain of her new soccer team, Duke.

Things get more complicated when his twin brother back from London and when she finds out that she becomes the object of affection of the beautiful Olivia, the girl whom Duke loves.

As “Bend like Beckham”, this movie also told us that “gender” is not an issue. Even though we are a woman, we could compete with the man, at the same level. There’s no man’s job or woman’s job, we are equal in terms of work.

Well, my intention of giving the review, is not to discuss the gender issue. My intention only to say that if you need a movie to release your tension, then watch this.

It’s hilarious, it’s release my tension after the 4 hours long meeting on Monday.

Friday, September 22, 2006


One of my friend sent me these picture. Others sent me an email stated that during the fasting month, he is not definetely available for night life party, drinking, flirting, selling (?) and bitching. He assure us that after Ramadhan, he is definetely available for any activities that can bring the best of him and become "the better version of himself".

Couldn’t say anything only my wishes to all of my friends, who’s entering the Ramadhan, that they can pass their Ramadhan with happiness.

A story about "The Bollywood Beauty"

by Shalini Akhil

I always wonder how was it feel when I have to stay abroad, especially in Middle East, Europe and America. Not because I’m against them, no …; in fact, the way my mother raised me were more western then Asian. The value that my mother taught me for some of my relatives were not reflected Asian value. Therefore, even though I’m not staying abroad, I also experienced the culture clash.

My first experience with culture clash was my left-handed. When I was a child, even after I worked in a multi national company, the well-known Bank, people will starred at me because I’m left handed. Some was amazed, some saying that it was unethical. It’s really a nightmare of me. Every time I have to explain why my parents let me write with my left hand.

Anyway, my intention is to give the reason why I read “The Bollywood Beauty”. It started when I saw this book under Asian Literature shelf; the cover fascinated me. With the background of Melbourne, there was a girl holding a cell phone wearing colorful Indian sari and it is not just stop as it is. The bright, typical Indian color, were all over the book. I could not stand myself not to pick the book.

The story, as I’ve been predicted, tells about a culture clash, about discovery and self-discovery of Kesh, an Indian girl who born and bred in Australia.

The writer picture an Indian family who’s never visited India but still keep their culture tradition, sometimes more Indian then people who stay and lives in India.

Live in Australia, where going out with a man, smoke a cigarette, be in the night life society, and consume an alcohol, are something normal; for Kesh parent’s was a big no no.

Be in the family, who were marriage through arrangement, and thought that it was nice to arrange the same way too for their daughter, was something beyond her understanding.

Shalini Akhil, the writer, shares this in her delicious and highly spiced novel. Like Bollywood movie, she put the dishes up tears, laughter, music and food, with a truly scary dinner dance thrown in … and a final happy ending .. just like Bollywood movie except this is a novel “Bolywood Beauty”

Thursday, September 21, 2006

Today Agenda

My schedule today and am still fighting to accomplish it all. Silly huh ?

Finish the requirement for RFP, staff capacity calculation, finish customer care plan for the next five years, lunch with my fighting, inspiration old friend, meeting with call center outsource vendor, press conference at Niko hotel and English course.

Hm ... the 4th, 5th and 6th, all of it was so hard to manage. Having lunch at 12.00 then have to rush to Niko hotel at the latest by 1.30 pm while at 2.30 pm have another meeting with outource vendor.

From the above three, the 4th is something that I longing for. Haven't seen my friend for several weeks. Our friendship is like a vitamin for me. Both of us have plan to this lunch for almost two weeks. Both of us have a tight schedule.

Wish that fairy good mother do something with her magic wand.

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Pre Wedding Gift

Several years ago on a mid September day, Adi Seno who was part of Mapala climbers took me to my first climbing trip. It was my pre wedding gift from an old friend, he told me through the phone.

Adi is an experienced climber whereas I don’t have any knowledge about mountain climbing.

We left Jakarta early Saturday morning after I finish working on Friday. Our fist plan was to climb Mt. Gede but since we didn’t bring the permit, we climbed Mt. Salak instead.

When we started, the weather was relatively good but when we were in the middle of our trip, the weather suddenly got worse. Heavy rain accompanied us during our way to the summit. Adi could easily climb the mountain but not me. I was having difficulty in manage my step. It was hard for me to climb in the middle of rain. I fell down many times; try to balance myself and the backpack. Tried to find a path with the tiny lamp on my head.

We didn’t reach the summit that night. I was exhausted and refused to continue the climbing event though the sky was clear. Adi decided to take a rest for a while before early in the morning continue the trip. Not more than 10 minutes after we put our sleeping bag, I already in heaven.

I had a bunch of funny stories about myself, but the worst part was when I had to go to wee. No toilet – no anything, we were in the middle of the mountain. Therefore, he instructed me to do my number 1 duty at the bushes. During am doing my number 1 duty, I heard a bunch of several climbers behind my back. Without finished the task, I ran to my sleeping bag and slept. The next morning, Adi was so happy to tease me because of what I did.

We woke up early in the morning. Adi insisted me to continue the climbing but I refused. The pain that I suffer really made me afraid to continue the journey. So even though it was close to the summit, I prefer we went back to the base.

It was not the end of the story. The worst part was I have to drove from Adi's house to mine and had to work on Monday. What a nightmare. Pretended that everything was fine, no pain, no anything, and gave my best smile to every customer.

Looking back into those days, I had to say that he was extremely patient. He helped me with the raincoat, taught me how to use the hat with the tiny lamp, took out the leech from my raincoat and help me bring my backpack during our trip back on the next day.

Since that day, my climbing trip to Mt. Salak, was the happy memories of the most beautiful pre wedding gift I have from an old friend.

My English writing task from Hemma Patel. She’s going to move to Dubai on 25 October 2006 for good.

So what’s up till yesterday :
Traffic jam, laughter and gossiping during launch, meeting at Cyber, bought 12 DVD (I don’t know whether I have time to watch it all – my bad habit), finish my work at TBI library, be the only student in my English class and several business phone call on way back home.

Monday, September 18, 2006

Every 30 Minutes

Somebody : I think you should learn how to distract yourself from your routine. Otherwise,
you will experience the same level of stress like before. Why don’t you arrange
your alarm clock in your cell phone every 30 minutes, to remind you for a break.
Only 5 minutes break.

Me : What if I’m in the middle of meeting ? what if I was in the middle of giving the

presentation ? what if I have to finish my report because of the deadline ? (me
and my what if question)

Somebody : Hey ! you are not a child anymore. The alarm only work for a reminder. If you

feel that, you still have the energy then continue your work. But, at least, with
the reminder, it will distract you from your routine. Therefore, you will notice if
you have to stop for a while. I know you so well. You always forget to distract
yourself from your routine especially if the task was challenging.

Me :
Ok…thank you for the advice. Will follow your advice….:)

..... It's almost 2 weeks now and I haven't follow the advice. I think if I want to make my life more colorfull like before, then I have to discipline with the 30 minutes distraction....

Yoga and Burden

My friend told me that my blog look like a bunch of complaint story lately. Well .. maybe. As far as I can recall, my past few weeks was full with meeting, coaching and interviewing.

Conveying the same message repeatedly, concentrating to find the truth of what they were saying, was more nerve-wracking then doing the routine.

So what can I say ? The decisive moment of every day ? There’s a bunch of moment truth in my every day life. However, from a pile of decisive moment, there’s only one which affect my thought, like my yoga at four season. Not only because finally I have the time to attend but also because during the relaxation, I felt completely relax.

I came late but I could catch the class. The pose was not harder than before, I still could follow every single instruction, except for Upavista Konasana ( Seated angle posture ) and Trianga Mukhaikapada Paschimottanasana ( One leg folded forward bend ). I always fail to do that, especially now days after I’ve been absent for more than 9 months and never practiced it at home. All that kind of instruction related to that posture always makes me feel smile, smile because I never made it.

Anyway, from all of the posture instruction, what I remember most was the relaxation. It seems that my entire load on my shoulders was taken away.

I felt happy after the class. Having hot shower, smell the freshness of the soap, was enough to pay my three weeks meeting and coaching.

Sunday, September 17, 2006

Pope Benedict and his speech

Faith,Reason and the University
Memories and Reflection

Pope Benedict’s speech, the hot issue within this week.

I have read the original text of his speech at the University of Regensburg. There’s nothing special there, only his quotation of Byzantine Emperor during the Emperor discussion of Christianity and Islam with educated Persian. The kind of discussion that need one’s head high. The kind of discussion where the intention is to bridge the understanding. The discussion where the output is to respect one another.

So, here I quote the last statement of his speech : "In their earlier conversations, many false philosophical opinions had been raised, and so Socrates says: "It would be easily understandable if someone became so annoyed at all these false notions that for the rest of his life he despised and mocked all talk about being - but in this way he would be deprived of the truth of existence and would suffer a great loss". The West has long been endangered by this aversion to the questions which underlie its rationality, and can only suffer great harm thereby. The courage to engage the whole breadth of reason, and not the denial of its grandeur - this is the program with which a theology grounded in Biblical faith enters into the debates of our time…….It is to this great logos, to this breadth of reason, that we invite our partners in the dialogue of cultures. To rediscover it constantly is the great task of the university."

My reflection of the controversial issue.

Dinner Invitation

There’s one invitation that always make me feel like in prison … “Business Dinner Invitation”.

I hate that kind of business ceremonial especially during the weekend, firstly because weekend is my day, secondly because my collection formal dress either office like or kebaya (Indonesian national gown), thirdly because I have to act like a Japanese doll, smile and nodded during the conversation.

I just feel that after almost a week, I have to wear the formal dress, and it’s about time to wear something that I like. Time to wear my jeans, short, t-shirt and cotton pants, anything – as long as it could make me feel relax and free.

….. However, can’t say NO, have to attend … Nothing much can say, only “Thank you for the invitation. Yes, I’m coming."

LOL, have checked my gown collection. I only have night gown and kebaya besides my business dress. Can't imagine going to a business dinner with a night gown. Anyway, I haved log on into www.about.com, and thanks GOD, there's a bunch of cocktail gown collection there.

Just wait for the D-Day….; then I will post my cocktail dress that I wear.

Monday, September 11, 2006

AUTHORITY - the 1st battle

Know how to use enemies for your own profit.
You must learn to grab a sword not by its blade, which would cut you, but by the handle, which allows you to defend yourself.
The wise man profits more from his enemies, than a fool from his friends.
(Baltasar Gracian, 1601 - 1658)

Above is the quotation I took from "POWER", the book that I bought several years ago.
Lucky that I have that book.
After experiencing with a gang who stabbed me in the back, there's nothing else to start the battle, my own battle.

Today is the 1st day when I will kill my enemy bit by bit.
I have planed my battle while I'm watching "Teaching Mrs Tingle", playing with my yahoo game. I planed several scenarios.

I’ll not kill my enemy in a rude way but I’ll transform my enemy into far more reliable subjects.

The first time in my life, in my career, I’m doing this.No other choice, either I’ll be dead or my enemy.

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Boring Fact

I lost my appetite to write even though I have a bunch of story in my head.

I think it’s because of the marketing plan meeting rally last week. We only had 1 week to finalize the idea before presented the idea to Board of Director. I’m neither in the product development division nor in the product plan marketing but since, customer care was under Marketing, so I had to joint the meeting party.

Yesterday, on the weekly marketing meeting, the interesting topic was the bad service of Call Centre. As a person who’s not the new comer in that area, by seeing the fact, I know the symptom of the disease.

It is a tough discussion last night, to present the fact and the cure program. Especially when the VP Marketing still questioning the fact that cause the disease. He asked me to elaborate my crash program to cure the disease.

So, went back to home and browsing the net to found out something that can proof my statement. Until I found something in the news that I plan to share it with him this morning.

Here I quote one of the boring fact of contact center :

"Agent satisfaction is a key contributor to customer satisfaction, so it is important to focus on agent empowerment. The contact centers’ key is a vision and strategic roadmap to productivity through customer and agent satisfaction," he said.

Luxford said monitoring, training, and coaching agents remains the number one area for improvement, as often times companies sacrifice this in lieu of filling more chairs to the detriment of both agent and consumer in an industry which is often misunderstood

Friday, August 25, 2006

The Unforgotten Word

Rod Stewart

Have I Told You Lately
By Van Morisson

Have I told you lately that I love you ?
Have I told you there’s no one else above you ?
You fill my heart with gladness, take away all my sadness,
Ease my troubles, that’s what you do.

For the mornin’s sun and all it’s glory
Greets the day with hope and comfort, too.
You fill my life with laughter, somehow you make it better,
Ease my troubles, that’s what you do.

There’s a love that’s divine, and it’s yours and it’s mine
Like the sun.
And at the end of the day, we should give thanks and pray
To the one, to the one

Have I told you lately that I love you ?
Have I told you there;s no one else above you ?
You fill my heart with gladness, take away all my sadness,
Ease my troubles, that’s what you do.

There’s a love that’s divine, and it’s yours and it’s mine
Like the sun.
And at the end of the day, we should give thanks and pray
To the one, to the one

And have I told you lately that I love you ?
Have I told you there’s no one else above you ?
You fill my heart with gladness, take away all my sadness,
Ease my troubles, that’s what you do.

Take away all my sadness, you fill my heart with gladness,
Ease my troubles, that’s what you do

Take away all my sadness, you fill my heart with gladness,
Ease my troubles, that’s what you do

Boring Friday ....

Friday ….let’s shake your junk and dance ….!

The subject on my Friday mail from 43things people. It’s nice to read what their fav music for the happy Friday. Oh it must be fun out there ….;

I wish I can attend my yoga class, I’ve been absent for 2 months, started since am back to the corporation world. I don’ have time to attend the class neither in the morning nor in the evening. The schedule of meeting was unbelievable. It’s always start at 4 pm, even though it’s Friday …

Friday, where our mind is not in our paper work., where the mind spend imagining the fun and crazy evening…

..So, hows today, let’s hope that there’s no urgent meeting call at 4 pm, because I haven’t finished my analysis homework …

I just want to go home early today ….and spend the rest of the day by myself. Am still sick remember ? So no ice cream in the evening, no hanging around somewhere…just go home.

Not reflected a fun and crazy Friday plan, huh ?

Thursday, August 24, 2006

The Worst Common Flu

It’s been a long time ago when the common cold stop by and teasing me. After I practiced my yoga, it seems that “common cold” lost his appetite to do his favorite thing. Until last Friday, the lovely “common cold” suddenly stops by at my house and play around with me.

It is almost a week, I’m suffering of common cold. I can’t sleep well, can’t taste the macaroni schotel even though I put a lot of cheese in and top of it. The worst thing is I have put aside my wishes to taste the sweetness of chocolate and strawberry ice cream and Vietnamese coffee……


We went to Cali Deli yesterday and my face just like “Pluto hunger for the big bone” when I look into the drink list menu …..

The worst part is I could not take the common flu medicine, like decolgen. Suddenly, my body reaction to that medicine was unbelievable, my eyes suddenly like a sparing partner of Mike Tyson…

Wish this nightmare will go away .......

Bullshit and Ass kissing...(new varian)

This is an old mathematic calculation with new varian about success...

From a strictly mathematical viewpoint it goes like this:

What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?

Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:


is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.


H-A-R-D-W-O-R- K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%


11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%


1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%


2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.

1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that, while Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it's the Bullshit and Ass kissing that will put you over the top.

Just look around you - is it true or not ...

Phew… I remember the advice that I’ve given to my old friend yesterday when he shared his worried of his new HR Director. I gave him some tips to handle his new boss, which one of the tips was “you have to pleased her, don’t ever against her, and try to build a good relationship by understanding her dos and don’ts”.

He replied my text , “the problem is am not an ass kisser”.

I don’t think please your boss is the same as an ass kisser. By trying to understand the dos and don’ts, at least we can minimize the misunderstanding, minimize the argument, minimize the hurt feeling ….

So.. back to the email above, yes “ass kissing” was one that can boost you to the top, but once again the “Good Ass Kissing” (I don’t know the variant, maybe it could be 200 %)

Thursday, August 17, 2006

Happy Independence Day Indonesia ........

Today, we are celebrating our 61st independence day …. And how sad to watch the news that many of the younger generation don’t even know the composer of Indonesian anthem.

I asked my daughters whether they know about the composer of Indonesian anthem, and they gave me the same answer as seen on TV.

Born in the family where the old people always reminded us of their struggle and fight for freedom, its bit irony to know that my daughters did not know anything about Indonesian anthem, the most beautiful anthem in the world.

I think I should tell them the story of their ancestors … ; to remind them that we could live as if today is because of them, because of their struggle to free from the colonizer.

Therefore, I dedicated this song, a song that has a moral message, a wish from our ancestors to the younger generation, to my two beautiful daughters.

Waktu hujan turun, rintik perlahan
Bintang pun menari, awan pun menebal,
Kutimang si buyung, belaian sayang
Anakku seorang, tidurlah tidur
Ibu menjaga, Ayah mendoa
Agar kau kelak jujur melangkah
Jangan engkau lupa, Tanah pusaka
Tanah air kita, Indonesia

Belaian Sayang
By Bing Slamet

Saturday, August 05, 2006

Myers-Briggs Type Indicator ( MBTI)

I met with this kind of personality test when I was working with TNT – the European courier company like DHL - several years ago.

We had our national sales meeting when my Country Director had an idea to run this test based on the test he had when he attended his country director annual meeting.

The idea of this test was to know each other personality so all of us could know how to talk with each other by understanding their behavior.

The interesting part of this test as informed by the regional Human Resources Director was no matter we tried to think hard to fill in the questionnaire, even by taking another test a year ahead the result is still the same. She told us that she was taking her first test about 5 years ago and yet there are no changes in the result when she’s taking the test again.

In other word, once the result come out … for the rest of our live, the result is staying the same and it’s true.

When I took this test in 2000, it stated that my personality was ENTJ; and now, when I’m taking the test through about.com, the result stills the same ENTJ.

Below is one of the result, Happy Reading ….

- Extraverted iNtuitive Thinking Judging(Extraverted Thinking with Introverted Intuition)
The Executive

As an ENTJ, your primary mode of living is focused externally, where you deal with things rationally and logically. Your secondary mode is internal, where you take things in primarily via your intuition.

ENTJs are natural born leaders. They live in a world of possibilities where they see all sorts challenges to be surmounted, and they want to be the ones responsible for surmounting them. They have a drive for leadership, which is well-served by their quickness to grasp complexities, their ability to absorb a large amount of impersonal information, and their quick and decisive judgments. They are "take charge" people.

ENTJs are very career-focused, and fit into the corporate world quite naturally. They are constantly scanning their environment for potential problems which they can turn into solutions. They generally see things from a long-range perspective, and are usually successful at identifying plans to turn problems around - especially problems of a corporate nature. ENTJs are usually successful in the business world, because they are so driven to leadership. They're tireless in their efforts on the job, and driven to visualize where an organization is headed. For these reasons, they are natural corporate leaders.

There is not much room for error in the world of the ENTJ. They dislike to see mistakes repeated, and have no patience with inefficiency. They may become quite harsh when their patience is tried in these respects, because they are not naturally tuned in to people's feelings, and more than likely don't believe that they should tailor their judgments in consideration for people's feelings. ENTJs, like many types, have difficulty seeing things from outside their own perspective. Unlike other types, ENTJs naturally have little patience with people who do not see things the same way as the ENTJ. The ENTJ needs to consciously work on recognizing the value of other people's opinions, as well as the value of being sensitive towards people's feelings. In the absence of this awareness, the ENTJ will be a forceful, intimidating and overbearing individual. This may be a real problem for the ENTJ, who may be deprived of important information and collaboration from others. In their personal world, it can make some ENTJs overbearing as spouses or parents.

The ENTJ has a tremendous amount of personal power and presence which will work for them as a force towards achieving their goals. However, this personal power is also an agent of alienation and self-aggrandizement, which the ENTJ would do well to avoid.

ENTJs are very forceful, decisive individuals. They make decisions quickly, and are quick to verbalize their opinions and decisions to the rest of the world. The ENTJ who has not developed their Intuition will make decisions too hastily, without understanding all of the issues and possible solutions. On the other hand, an ENTJ who has not developed their Thinking side will have difficulty applying logic to their insights, and will often make poor decisions. In that case, they may have brilliant ideas and insight into situations, but they may have little skill at determining how to act upon their understanding, or their actions may be inconsistent. An ENTJ who has developed in a generally less than ideal way may become dictatorial and abrasive - intrusively giving orders and direction without a sound reason for doing so, and without consideration for the people involved.

Although ENTJs are not naturally tuned into other people's feelings, these individuals frequently have very strong sentimental streaks. Often these sentiments are very powerful to the ENTJ, although they will likely hide it from general knowledge, believing the feelings to be a weakness. Because the world of feelings and values is not where the ENTJ naturally functions, they may sometimes make value judgments and hold onto submerged emotions which are ill-founded and inappropriate, and will cause them problems - sometimes rather serious problems.

ENTJs love to interact with people. As Extroverts, they're energized and stimulated primarily externally. There's nothing more enjoyable and satisfying to the ENTJ than having a lively, challenging conversation. They especially respect people who are able to stand up to the ENTJ, and argue persuasively for their point of view. There aren't too many people who will do so, however, because the ENTJ is a very forceful and dynamic presence who has a tremendous amount of self-confidence and excellent verbal communication skills. Even the most confident individuals may experience moments of self-doubt when debating a point with an ENTJ.

ENTJs want their home to be beautiful, well-furnished, and efficiently run. They're likely to place much emphasis on their children being well-educated and structured, to desire a congenial and devoted relationship with their spouse. At home, the ENTJ needs to be in charge as much as he or she does in their career. The ENTJ is likely best paired with someone who has a strong self-image, who is also a Thinking type. Because the ENTJ is primarily focused on their careers, some ENTJs have a problem with being constantly absent from home, physically or mentally.

The ENTJ has many gifts which make it possible for them to have a great deal of personal power, if they don't forget to remain balanced in their lives. The are assertive, innovative, long-range thinkers with an excellent ability to translate theories and possibilities into solid plans of action. They are usually tremendously forceful personalities, and have the tools to accomplish whatever goals they set out for.

Jungian functional preference ordering:
Dominant: Extraverted Thinking
Auxiliary: Introverted Intuition
Tertiary: Extraverted Sensing
Inferior: Introverted Feeling

The Longest Day

Phew….finally it’s over. Woke up at 04.00 am and rushed to the train station to catch the first train to Cirebon. Yeah…I have to sign the entire notary and bank administration process.

The branch manager was so kind. She admired the handicraft that was put in the show room. “You must have the art sense; otherwise your handicraft wouldn't be that beautiful”.

Just smiled and told her that I have to stop my handicraft business for a while. I will come back to the handicraft business someday with proper preparation.

Listened to the notary read the legal agreement, witnesses my husband sign the document. Put my signature as the witness of the agreement.

Smiled and politely answered the question of my current job, the possibility of me staying in Cirebon, my daughters condition; all that kind of “appetizer” questions.

I felt relief when I left the bank at 11.45 am. Slept less than 4 hours, did not eat my normal breakfast, catch up the train and took almost 3 hours trip with the cockroach children running at my window…was not something to be remember ….; in fact it made me loose my temper.

Had the lunch at my favorite restaurant, “Ayam Bahagia” (The Happy Chicken – if literally translated to English) before ahead to the fabric.

I thought I could finish my “Corporate Solution” business plan but the effect of 4 hours slept made me loose my brain also.

I could not think and the worst thing, I could not digest the 300 pages research survey of the key player within Telco industry.

….. #@%$^%^**&@#@$$%$ …

I have to finish it on Monday and only read 30 pages of those 300 pages. I have to give it to my Marketing Director on Monday (anytime as long as Monday) and still my brain was drain.

I can’t say anything now…except whisper my wishes to GOD to give me a brain to think of my strategy clearly so I could write it down and give it to my Marketing Director.

…I think I have to take a rest now, already 00.30 AM. Just arrived from Cirebon at 11.00 pm...

Could you find the essence of all am saying ? LOL, the essence only one word "EXHAUSTED"

Thursday, August 03, 2006

See No Evil - Hear No Evil - Speak No Evil

Have you ever experienced the relationship that was beautiful which started with something that illogical, irrational, unreasonable ... (name it, the all called “so wrong”).

It happened just a couple years ago. When the called “so wrong” stop by for a moment and tease somebody’s life.

It started on the hot, euphoria, dizzy night, when the riddle, non-sense story, the flirting game start to show themselves. The night when everybody realized that it would be their last time together after shared their emotional feeling through games, ideas, and discussion.

It started through wicked wishes, where somebody played his treat and trick and the other played her wicked sense. It started through the intuitive feelings of witty person.

Another Dare Game ? Another “La vie en Rose” ? No, it is not another Dare Game nor La vie en Rose.

It’s just like a band play on the music. It’s just like a waves stop by at the beach where the signage of the visit was only on the sand. It’s just as bird stops by at my window and play their beautiful song. It’s just like the unreal happy things but left the sadness memory.

It takes a year to realize that it was just a shadow. It takes a year to realize the mistakes. It takes a year to realize that it was a wicked game. It takes a year to realize that there is no give and take. It takes a year to realize that it was far beyond what we called a “friendship”.

The all called “so wrong” but “so beautiful”. The all called “so wrong” but seems “so right”.

Another Dare Game ? Another Dare Wicked Game ?

No ….. No more…..

It takes more than a year to convince me that I was wrong. It takes more than a year to finally admitted that you're right. It takes more than a year to finally admitted that it was hurt. It takes more than a year to be able to say "thank you".

The English and CRM Class

My English Class day …. !!!!

We talked about movies …. Only the three of us, my young adult friend, myself and my teacher. We love watching film like hell. Therefore, since only the three of us in the class, we all agreed that we would discuss the film that we have watched.

It started when my teacher asked us, if we have a choice between Porn Regulation and the Police act, which one that we would choose.

Me, since I hate the way a police officer act, automatically will choose the government take care our police officer. My teacher, she is British, agreed with my comment. She told us that she doesn’t mind to cover herself as long as Indonesian police officer behaves as if they should be.

I agreed with the idea of cover us, but it’s only 5 minutes. I told her “Hemma, no. I don’t like to cover myself but I do mind to do something if our Indonesian police officer behaves.

Then we are talking about Shamalayan film, compared it with Sixth Sense and Psycho. Jump to another film of Denzel Washington, discussed how funny his film “Inside Man”. Try to understand the different type of humor like black humor, dry humor …and the other humor (forgot the idiom).

Change the topic to Saturday Night Live , the comedian program at CNBC (we could not watch it every time .. but sometimes we could see it) .How Adam Sandler and Eddy Murphy were the one of Saturday Night Live program. Differentiate it with British humor at Little Britain (?) and Whose in the Line (?) - another program at Star World.

It seems that it will be like a merry go round, round and round and round…..until the time is over and my teacher gave us her comment of our grammar. …”The first English discussion I have ever had in my life without any correction !”…

What a happy day …!!! After 9 hours stuck in the meeting room. Listened to the Russian introduce their product capabilities, with difficulty in understanding her English. Finishing the other project with the product development guy, tried to match our project.

Entering the room of my English class was like in Heaven. Breath the air of my “freedom” from all the telco term. No push to talk term, no mms term, no CRM term, none …nothing ….

Oh God, thank you for giving me 1.15 hours in heaven…

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Another Dare Game

I read at my neighborhood blog this morning, she quotes one of the French film (again). The story as usual about LOVE, but this time, LOVE comes with different angle. LOVE come through a “Dare Game” and ended with tragic tragedy.

Here I quote a little part of the story from
her blog “Their friendship is symbolized by a tin merry-go-round toy that goes from one to the other. The one who holds the toy has to also take a dare. The dare grows from talking dirty in the class, to crash a wedding-buffet, and as time goes by it grows bolder and riskier and without realizing it the two have become bonded with each other and heavily in love with each other without words, still with the dares they exchange throughout their lives…..

Have to thank
silverlines because she made me remember to the text that I had received sometimes-long time ago.

It’s about a friendship “For me, nowadays, you are the only friend I have. Some friends just stop by to be a friend because of their hidden agenda, it seems that they were my friend but in fact, they’re not. You are a friend indeed.”

I thought that my friend had a “blue day” that time, but reading silverlines blog from of “La vie en rose”, took me to another film of my day with my friend from the old time.

We never play “Dare Game” ; our game is “Dare to hurt”. Hurt each other is something that became our habit. Both of us have a specialty in saying something that will knock off each other . That habit become years and years.

We never realized that “lovely” habit, until one day we asked ourselves why our friend always asks the same question if they met one of us alone. Then we realized that for more than 10 years, our beautiful habit had bonded us with LOVE.

Even though we fight like hell, we always try to find each other if we had a problem or share a good news. I always run to my beloved friend to tell my sadness and my happiness. I always run to my fighting partner to find a sparing partner to discuss my task. And vice versa.

We always questioning our insane relationship but we never find the answer. We always questioning our lives would be if one of us had to fly away first meet our God, and as before, we could not find the answer.

Maybe the answer because my fighting partner has a strength in delivering the input as fast as digesting the information, based on the leadership analysis recently.

Maybe the answer because we never pretend to be somebody else when we play our game ….

Maybe because of God’s Mystery….

Every day, God gives us, as well as the sun,
a moment when it is possible to change anything
that is causing us unhappiness.
The magic moment is the moment when
a ‘yes’ or a ‘no’ can change our whole existence.
Every day, we try to pretend that we do not see
that moment, that it does not exist,
that today is the same as yesterday
and that tomorrow will be the same too.
However, anyone who pays close attention to
his day will discover the magic moment.
It might be hidden in the instant
That we put the key in the door in the morning,
in the moment of silence after supper,
in the thousand and one things
that appear to us to be the same.
This moment exists, a moment in which
all the strength of the stars flows through us
and allow us to perform miracles

..By The River Piedra
I Sat Down and Wept
Paulo Coelho