Sunday, April 29, 2007
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Most of the time, in our daily life, we tend to forget the beautiful things that always greet us when we woke up from our dream.
We were in rush to meet our deadline ; the deadline that we set to ourselves. We were in rush to jump in the traffic to be able to be on time at the office. We were in rush to prepare breakfast for our children. We were in rush to buy our errands.
We were in rush to stop noticing the beautiful things that make our life richest.
Therefore, if somebody asked me, what are the three beautiful things in your daily life, my answer for sure are :
1. The smell of the grass on rainy day ; The warm of sun that shines on summer day
2. The color of my frangipani, the color of my small petal bushes, the color of the soil
3. The unknown people that I met along the way to the office
Because that three beautiful things always bring me to a place where my dream seems real, to a place where dream turns into reality …
Sunday, April 22, 2007
No more talk of darkness
Forget these wide eyed fears
I'm here, nothing can harm you
My words will warm and calm you
Let me be your freedom
Let daylight dry your tears
I'm here, with you, beside you
To guard you and to guide you
Say you love me ev'ry waking moment
Turn my head with talk of summertime
Say you need me with you, now and always
Promise me that all you say is true
That's all I ask of you
Let me be your shelter
Let me be your light
You're safe, no one will find you
Your fears are far behind you
All I want is freedom
A world with no more night
And you, always beside me
To hold me and to hide me
And say you'll share with me
one love, one lifetime
Let me lead you from your solitude
Say you'll need me with you here, beside you
Anywhere you go, let me go too
Christine, thats all i ask of you
Say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime
Say the word and I will follow you
Share each day with me, each night, each morning
Say you love me
(You know I do)
That's all I ask of you
Anywhere you go, let me go too
That's all I ask of you
Friday, April 20, 2007
Like the corners of my mind.
Misty water-colored memories
Of the way we were
Of the smiles we left behind
Smiles we gave to one another
For the way we were
Can it be that it was all so simple then ?
Or has time re-written every line ?
If we had the chance to do it all again
Tell me, would we ? could we ?
May be beautiful and yet
What’s too painful to remember
We simply choose to forgot
So it’s the laughter
We will remember
Whenever we remember
The way we were
The way we were
By Barbara Streisand
I got an SMS from my mother yesterday evening. She told me that my friend was in hospital. My mom just told me that he was robbed and stabbed. So I went to MMC hospital to give support to his wife.
It was late already when I reached MMC hospital, so I decided to meet his wife and talk for a while. As my expectation, he must be opened his car glass window. But he did it because that man, who has stabbed him, asked him to give his cell phone. And because he was panicked he press “AUTO” button at his car. He gave his cell phone but that man did not show his mercy, he still stabbed my friend.
His liver and his left hand were in critical condition. The doctor needs 6 hours to safe his life and this morning, also need at minimum 5 hours to safe his left hand.
His wife keeps asking me why nobody helps her husband. It happened at 5.30 pm at Casablanca underpass, and people at that time was rush on their way back home. The traffic was jammed at that time. She also mentioned, they have to deposit 25 million IDR, otherwise the hospital did not want to operate him.
I could not say anything, and just listened to what she says. She told me, she has warned his husband that the agenda that she did not want to have dinner at home, because she must do some errands. But for some reason, no one even understands, not her husband colleagues, not his wife, not his parent, the proper person insist to go home at that day at that time.
I just say to his wife, we could not understand because we are not God. Maybe someday we will understand, maybe not. But I do believe and I hope she also believe that there’s a blessing behind all this sadness.
My final word before I went home was you need more time with your husband and children, especially since today he must go through to another operation again.
………… On my way back home … in my nutshell space, I’m questioning people’s inner self. He was bleeding and no one stopped to help him. Instead all of them was still in their car and only gave him a chance to pull over his car. When he asked a help to take him to the hospital, no one stop. People were afraid to give him hand. He must pay IDR hundred thousand to ask somebody to take him to the hospital. In his car, blood was everywhere and I can imagine how bad his condition at that time.
How bad is our inner self out there ? Do we lose our sense to help ? On the other hand, are we afraid of being accused as the bad man ? I don’t know. I don’t have the answer. Maybe we were so busy with our own life. Maybe I have to realize that Jakarta is big city and one of big city typical thing was “Mind your own business”.
So it’s beyond my understanding, if we always say to ourselves, that we were different with other nation. We are known as “smiling” people, West always admire our culture, the way we do something collectively.
The answer is still in the dark …..
Tried to picture myself in that situation, and the answer, maybe I will stop and help him or maybe not. It depends on how bad the situation was. So it is unfair to judge people outside there just because not to help my friend at that day …
So if I put myself in my friend’s shoes. I don’t think if I could think clearly and know how to act at that critical condition. He must love his family very much by trying to focus to save his own life. And suddenly I remember his wife voice and face, when she said, “he loves me and our children so much … In every way he do, ours is his priority.”
What I do understand was, God is there when he could think clearly. God is there when at least somebody took him to the hospital even though he had to pay that person. God is there when all his colleague came to the hospital and pay the deposit for the operation. God is there when he is still alive after 6 hours operation.
Monday, April 16, 2007
Can't say much, except ..... I MADE IT .......
Finally, my CCO gave his approval of my new organization structure, my strategies and my goal…..
....That’s all I can say. Have tried to write something but my mind can’t go anywhere. I felt numb suddenly.
I know that I have to share my happiness for myself, but I’m sleepy and exhausted … So that’s it… enough for today …
Sunday, April 15, 2007
I was watching “Grey’s Anatomy” this evening, when there’s a scene about the truth.
It was in one scene about a woman who is dying and so emotional because she wanted to go home to prepare her daughter birthday. Her own doctor did not tell her about her condition; instead, her doctor gave beautiful scenario about her condition. Until the other doctor told the truth about her latest condition.
The woman was shocked but then she realized that she did not have much time to spend with her daughter. So, she did as every mom in the world do, prepared her daughter for the worst.
The way that woman telling the truth to her daughter was amazing. She did not explicitly tell her daughter about her condition, instead she was telling her daughter every single detail every mom in the word will do.
Did her daughter realize ? Yes, her daughter realized about the truth when her mom told her of how to choose a man to be her husband and how many glasses of wine she should take during her wedding ceremony.
….Phew, I have to hold my breath and tears, when it comes to that part. The truth in that scene was so painful and relief …. ( I can’t find it in Indonesian film ).
In addition, suddenly … that word .. flying like a bee in my mind … .THE TRUTH.
In our daily life, we always have to meet the truth along the way. Sometimes, it just a simple truth, but the other times, the truth that we met is THE TRUTH that affect our journey.
Therefore, when it comes to truth that affects our journey, no one can say that it always ends in laughter, instead most of the times it ends up with pains and relief.
It takes the courage to tell the truth. It takes the courage to see the sadness, the hurtful, the painful in somebody’s eyes. It takes the courage to face the reality that the truth will leave a footprint in our lives, in somebody’s live.
Yes, it takes the courage to say I love you, the courage to say that I can not be with you, the courage to say that I need you, the courage to say that you’re dying, the courage to say that you’re ugly or beautiful, …it takes the courage when it comes to the Truth.
Because it takes the courage to say the truth, there are many times in our lives that we prefer to mendacity, in the name of “relationship”, in the name of our “lives”.
But not for Indonesian woman blogger, Nila Tanzil, on Behind The Screen of Melancong Yuk: Malaysian Episode, she took the chance to say her opinion about Malaysian tourism board, even though the chance was she lost her job in one of Indonesian national television.
But not for one of Indonesian dean, when he took the chance to say his opinion about violence within his college, even though the chance was the president of the college is deactivating him.
But not for others who never afraid to say the truth about anything in life ……
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
Marriage is low down, but you spend the rest of your life paying for it.
Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred
Marriage is the sole cause of divorce
Marriage mean commitment. Of course, so does insanity.
Marriage still confers one very special privilege – only a married person can get divorced
Marriage: A ceremony in which rings are put on the finger of the lady and around the hands and feet of the man.
Marriage: the only sport in which the trapped animal has to buy the license
Marriages are made in heaven and consummated on Earth .
--- John Lyly ---
… I got this message in my yahoo inbox, from my www.flickr.com community friend, with a note, “any comment everyone ?”
Suddenly I remember one line that I read at yahoo personal about 20 questions for when the honeymoon is over. According to Susan Piver, “Romance can never last but intimacy can never end,” explains Piver.
So what is the connection with the above marriage quotation? The connection is it shows that when Romance and Intimacy end in marriage life, then the only thing that left is the above quotation.
Well, the entire author said is true. Marriage is mystical, no one have the same experience in his or her marriage life. Looks like the same but so much variety inside ….
Sunday, April 08, 2007
It is difficult for me to find Easter Card with the combination of the smell of spring and religious, since the choice was limited.
Finally, I have several cards, which reflect my feeling of Easter and my love to all of my friends. The feeling of graceful that God has given me a life to be feel with good and bad, with love and hatred. A colorful life …..
As a catholic, the 3 holy days, means a lot of me. Every single day have their own meaning, have their own reflection of my life. Life that I share with God ….
I’m not a religious person, in terms of going to church every week, or praise God along the way; am not that kind of person. Instead, I’m the person who’s trying to find excuses for not going to His home.
As my friend said, whatever reason you’re trying to prove, not attend the mass, still wrong. No one will say that you’re reason is acceptable.
Nevertheless, today, after I finished send Easter text to all people in my cell phone directory, I got a reply from my friend. He was a little bit mellow because he just realized the time he had given to Him.
As a liberal person, I tried to convince him that he must fulfill his obligation first then serve God through every way. It’s no use if he serve God and forget his own obligation as a boss, as an employee and as a son of his mother. The replied was my answer is an excuse.
…….. I always label my self as a liberal person while actually I’m not. Instead am a conservative person for myself not for others; Therefore, when I read his text, I draw back myself to my nutshell and try to reflect his message.
For these 3 days, I felt so lonely, sad and relief.
Lonely and sad because I just realized that I’m not good enough giving myself to serve others, especially my daughters. I don’t have a bunch of patience if I have to deal with my parents. I always said that I don’t have enough time to communicate with Him. I never find a time to open my heart.
Relief because I know that He always walk besides me, hold my hands tightly, and carried me through the dark. Relief because I still have time to rectify all the excuses I made.
So .. Easter ; is it about a bunch of chocolate bunny or a spring flower or colorful egg ? The answer is Easter about happiness, about promises, about hope to live the life He has given to us ….
And this is my Easter song
With a grateful heart
To the Holy one
For He’s given Jesus Christ, His Son
And now let the weak say I’m strong
Let the poor say I’m rich
Because of what The Lord has done for us
The story for yesterday was … nothing, except feel gloomy, mad, and tired of talking.
I should write these yesterday, however as usual, my lovely internet connection got problem again.
So after series of meeting, I decided to pamper myself to foot haven, a place where I always visit when I need foot massage or foot spa. I like the smell of the oil, the aquarium (makes me feel calm) and the music.
This time I asked for foot massage and as expected, pain in everywhere. The massager showed her surprises because I could feel the pain.
I’m not a goddess … am human ..:-)
Anyway, I thought by having foot massage, I could sleep like a baby when I reach home. In fact, I could not sleep again. I have put my Bach on, but still my mind refuses to stop the thinking activity.
I remember my communication with one of my colleague, after the emotional evening meeting, he told me that I made a wrong statement by hoping that everything would be back to normal. He’s right this time, so I said to myself to face the reality and prepare myself for the “battle”.
So …. Back to my Foot Haven, am glad that I made good decision. Pampering myself…..