Wednesday, November 08, 2006


. My internet connection at home did not work for almost 2 days now. The technician promised to come yesterday, but for some reason he did not show up. I think its typical Telkom employee, snob and lazy. I hate it because I could not open my mail and browsing through the net. Well, just cross my finger that today everything will back to normal again.

Otherwise, have to open the internet during my way back to home or to the office with the latest EVDO only at certain area. I don’t know how to say, lucky or unlucky that I bought that small USB….

. Hm…nothing much to say only wants to give someone “a taste of his own medicine”. And let’s see the result.

. Don’t enough time to hibernate with my future plan of system changes. Have a meeting today but still have to catch up with the list of comment.

. Missed my grammar final test yesterday. Ian, the teacher, gave me a second chance. Means that I’ve to come early in Thursday at TBI to catch up for the grammar test..

. Got a lovely email from my him. Don't know to say, should I mad or cry or laugh. One thing that I know I don't want to fight.

Monday, November 06, 2006

Loosing Life

What a life !

Wake up early in the morning, smell the jasmine flower, watch the padma try to say good morning to the sun, the frangipani flower all over the path to the beach, the song of the bird welcoming their friends, and the song of the waves ….

Walking along the beach early morning, when the sun starts to show himself after long dark night.. Watching people pass by, children build a sand castle, dog try to catch the waves, surfer start to choose the best wave to surf.

Some people already busy with their jogging ritual while other just open their eyes and gave their sleepy look just to awake them from their happy dream. Honeymooners start to count their new days by looking the pretty – funny shelf.

Three puppies busy with themselves, try to catch each other. Happily roll over along the white sandy beach. Whilst the big one try to tease the small one – the bulldog and Chihuahua – what a lovely couple. And the puddle tries to encourage his female to walk with him and play with the waves.

The owner of the “umbrella” – the tend – lazily open the big umbrella and arrange the beach chair. Others just watching the activity ….

Watch the color of the birthday ceremony of small Pura at the beach where people bring the offering to shown their love to the GOD….

Yeah … what a life !

Read in my book – the 7 lively sins - LIFE LESSON # 44

You – and you alone – are in charge of creating that movie-for-one called your life. You – and you alone – are not only your own life writer, but life casting agent, director, producer, caterer, everything-er. IF YOU DON’T LIKE YOUR LIVE MOVIE … if you feel it’s too much ENTERPAINMENT and not enough ENTERTAINMENT … then it’s up to YOU – and YOU alone – to close down the movie set and re-cast and re-shot … and not waste another day shooting scenes that would be better off on the editing room floor

Yes, it’s damn right. It depends on me. Therefore losing my life – sometimes – is something I need to re-charge myself. To remind myself of my “dream”, the real dream. To let the creativity, the sense of smell, touch, come and visit my “brain”, my “body”, and my “senses”.

In fact, losing life, is something that older people prevent to hide it, prevent not to fall in that kind of activity. In the name of “IMAGE”. In the name of “CHILDISH”. For the grown up people “loosing life” is something related to children stuff.

We tend to forgot that actually on that children stuff lay down the powerful power to enlighten ourselves, the grown up people.

Anyway, back to real life again, another scene of our own movie start to cast the new daily episode. Like my neighbor blog write in his blog – every day we experiencing new life.

Sunday, November 05, 2006

Old friend from Past Life

Sometimes I wonder how two stranger’s people could connect only through a simple question. Somebody says it was just like a puzzle, a puzzle of your life, before we left this world; we have to complete the puzzle. Somebody says it was our “old” friend, someone that we know from the past, who would like to remind us of your purpose of life, or help us at the lowest time of our life.

I don’t know, maybe both of them was true. One thing that I do believe was if I met a new person and not more than 5 minutes we could share our thought, our view of life, and when we’re looking into the eyes we felt some kinds of ‘déjà vu’ then that person must be somebody close to me. Not in this event of life, but maybe in my past life.

I once met a New Jersey fire fighters. We stayed at the same hotel and didn’t go anywhere during dinner time. We met on that night; he sat in front of me. He had finish his dinner while me, just started my dinner.

He was still there listening to the song of the frog and the wind, when I finished my dinner. Then he went into receptionist area to get an advice for his tour of the next day. While me, just want to confirm my late check out.

Then, since am the only person there and the hotel staff needed someone to explain about the place, as predicted I gave my advice of his tour. After that, the rest was like a two old childhood friend met. Exchange stories of each other life, discussing the baliness culture, our wishes when we had to leave this earth, everything.

.... We didn’t exchange mail after that, only a birthday card and a sweet thank you phone call ….

Today, just 10 months after the 1st strange phenomena, I met somebody again. So strange, I was reading the information board of yoga activities when somebody asks me whether I’ve tried their yoga class.

I never met that person before and politely I informed her that I’ve been followed their yoga class several times during my visit to Bali. She asked me a common question and not more than 10 minutes, the story of her life, the burden of her life, dominated our communication.

… There is a difference between the first and second experience. The feeling of connection was stronger compare to the 2nd one. On the 1st one, it was like a water of the river, they could find their way to the sea. Whilst the 2nd one, I still feel the gap.

But one thing that I know, somehow, somewhere, the experience of today, was like a reminder of the purpose of my life. Something that I’ve been forgotten, the blissful feeling.

04 November 2006, Bali Spirit.

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Reason to Write

I’ve read in my neighbor blog about on experiencing life he started the discussion by question why some people write more than others. While in fact all of us have the same problems and excitements and experiences in our 24 hours day.

It’s a good post and good discussion too.

He stated in his writing that probably one of the cause that people just keep that kind of problems, excitement and experience in side and wait until it was enough to explode.

Hm…maybe. I remember my discussion with my fighting partner on the way back to home last night. “It’s been more than a week since your last post,” he said after I told him that I’ve been suffer of migraine for almost 3 days.

I tried to ask myself, whether I do keep that kind of experience, excitement and experience inside myself and BOOM .. post it to my blog ?

No. In my case, the correct statement is “feeling, emotion”. I need that emotion, feeling, to put the experience, excitement and problems in writing. I can’t keep it inside and explode it because the moment has gone.

I remember when I was working as a stringer journalist; I always try to bring back the “atmosphere” during the process of interview, by listening to some music at my lovely corner in my room. Or during the internship when I have to write the interview in the office (because it was a daily newspaper), since there’s no lovely corner or music, still I always bring back that emotion, that feeling, before I wrote the lead of the news.

So, back to the discussion, why some people writes more than others. For me there are several reasons.

Writing is not a simple task or job. For some people who do not like to write, they will find the difficulties to put their experience, their thought into words. They don’t know how to share their experience into something memorable.

For some people, writing is a need to release the feeling, emotion. As my neighbor, treespotter, said that “some of us (need) write because we probably have less of other output venues in our day. So we turned to writing as a delayed method of communication (as opposed to communicating to people in real time)”
The other reason is because we do not discipline ourselves to write our thought or experience our problem like the one who has a discipline to write.

I do believe that even though we have enough output venues in our day, still the emotion, the feeling to put that experience into writing is there. But I also do believe that for some people who do not like to write, even though they have the same experience, have the same emotion, still they can not put the experience into word.

Like my fighting partner said, “you have to discipline yourself” and it’s all about choices.