Sunday, October 15, 2006

Lost In Space

Sometimes, I get tired of this me first attitude
You are the one thing, that keep me smiling
That's why I'm always wishing hard for you
Cos your light, shines so bright
I don't feel no solitude
You are my first, star at night
I'd be lost in space without you

And I'll never lose my faith in you
How, will I ever, get to heaven, if I do

Feels, just so fine
When we touch the sky me and you
This is my idea of heaven
Why can't it always, be so good
But it's allright, I know you out there
Doing what you've gotta do
You are my soul, satelite
I'd be lost in space without you

.... Ligthhouse Family .....

Saturday, October 14, 2006

The Underlying Principle

The feeling is there, love, hatred and anger, side by side. But this time, Love is the most influence compare to the others.

Please, give me a second chance. Look at the underlying principle that can win the hatred and anger. I do believe that we still love each other. We have traveled a long the way to keep our love a live. I’m so sorry that I said that, I know that it was wrong. But please, try to understand my point of view also. Both of us have our own interpretation of that word.

And the woman just sit quietly with her memory fly away, try to put together her scattered picture of their dream, the never-ending dream. She asked herself, when was the last time he touch her. When was the last time she feels his love through his eyes, his softness kiss. When was the last time they talk and whisper “I love you” ; “I miss you”.

She remembered that night, after their long fight, when she called him only to say, I’m sleepy, I couldn’t wait for you. And she heard his breathing, the breathing of love.

But it’s up to you. This is my offer. We still need each other. I need you as much as you needed me. It’s been a need for me to help you during your tough time and it’s been a need for you to ask my help. You don’t have anybody to share your crazy day, your problem, you only have me. Same with me, I don’t have anybody to share my happiness, my problem, I only have you.. The last word she heard before she feels the softness of his skin.

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Feeling Blue

I’m very not in my usual mood. It started since last Friday after long hours discussion and phone call.

The anger and hatred is there ..... No matter how hard I try to release them, it's still there.

I wish I know how to cure this anger and hatred
But apparently, for some reason, I could not do that.
The worst part, I could not let it go as I always do, put it all in writing.
Suddenly, I don’t even know how to gather all that scattered word in my mind.
I just know that the word is there, flying everywhere, and I could not pick them up.

I miss those days, ....
I miss those days, where I just can sit and talk and talk
I miss those days ……

I think I need Mia's Hug Shirt . I need a shoulder to cry on.

Phew … it’s time to put my “smiling” mask again. As someone said when I met him at the elevator yesterday, “It’s nice to see you, seems that you’re happy all the time” …..

Monday, October 09, 2006


The dinner went well last night……

The speech from the COO was just an introduction and little bit of his working style. How he would challenge us through our plan. He told us that his common question is “are you business people or finance people”. The bottom line is we have to know every single details of the growth of our division, make the decision through the business people’s eye.

We all laughed when he mentioned that his day to day live would be from office to home, home – office. Occasionally he plays golf. His hobby to music. One of my colleagues could not stand to ask whether it is a good news or bad news. Because it means that we have to work long hours and have a meeting at karaoke…

I like the restaurant; it doesn’t look like the spooky “Roro Jongrang” except the food. It is slightly better than Roro Jongrang. Love the desert, banana fried with cheese and chocolate, mango ice ( share it with my friend ) but not the poffertjes ( Dutch kue cubit – I don’t know how to translate it to English ). The strawberry juice …. Hm …tasty.

Met my ex-boss, who’s now become the HR Director of one of foreign bank. Both of us were surprised. He looks younger than before. He told me that his child is in Cornel University taking engineering. When I introduced him to my HR Director, she told me that she already knew him. What a small world …..

Anyway …. I was happy with the dinner; finally I had a chance to meet with some of my colleagues that I’ve never seen. Have a chance to talk with them with interesting topic instead of boring one, Work.

The COO, as he mentioned in his speech, after the dinner finished – came from nowhere – suddenly showed in front of me and started his 1st question about my contact center division, about the incoming calls, the IVR, the new plan that I want to implement …

C’est la vie …. After the joy and relaxing time, comes the reality …

Sunday, October 08, 2006


I had a nightmare class last Friday. I’ve never had that kind of class in my 3 years training experience. It’s like hell.

It started two months ago, when I reviewed the performance of my customer care staff especially the call center. Their motive and moral was low, as not to say that they were de-motivated, apathetic and no service attitude. So, I proposed to my HR, to change the process of recruitment besides the new scheme of salary. In that proposal, voluntary I told them that I would give the service excellence training to the new recruiter, based on my experience as a trainer. My HR people, without saying a word, give their 100 % approval and support my idea. Whilst at the same time, asked me to train the other department new recruiter also.

My first class, started last Friday ….. training the new recruiter of customer service department.

Couldn’t believe my eyes, when we were given them the energizer, they acted like a bunch of young adult people on their teenage period. They couldn’t control themselves. When it started with a game of service, which was a preliminary introduction before they practice it through the role-play, they just ignore it. I noticed that there’s 2 girl, which become their informal leader, or in my language “the terrorist”. They could distract the class from doing what I’ve instructed. Especially when I share the dos and don’ts of a front line customer service, that 2 terrorist, given their “what a boring fact” look.

When it was near “sholat Jumat”, I offered them to be in class at 1 pm or 1.30 pm, with the consequences if they chose 1.30 then automatically the training will finish half an hour after the normal schedule. My last word before break was “If you can’t respect yourself then how could you respect your customer” ….

Back on time, and as predicted, that two lovely terrorist was not in class. They were busy shopping around, and showed in class 30 min. after the class run. Instead of saying sorry, they were busy showing their stuff.

I couldn’t stand it anymore … , I was start to explode when my colleague notice it. He took over the class and asked me to wait outside. He told the class that I was observing him and if they fail then they will lost the job. After that the two terrorist suddenly acted like a frightened dog.

My other half-day class then went as expected and they just realized the purpose of the game that I instructed them on the 1st half day before.

To tell the truth, that day was my 1st experience of that kind of class. I’ve never had a class like before. There’s always a bunch of terrorist but not like that one, and the terrorist usually a boy not a girl.

They were not a young adult people anymore. They had finished their college and had a job before. If they just finished their second grade, then I could understand. But they were not. Both of us, me and my colleague felt old suddenly.

Are they the reflection of generation “Y” ? I know generation “Y” is different with generation “X”. Generation Y looking into future as something “abstract”, their style is different with Generation X, where Xers was more entrepreneur while Yers more selfish “so what ?”.

But what I've seen in my class is all about “ATTITUDE” and ‘ETHIC’. They parents must be much older than me. They were “baby boomers” generation. Besides that there's no difference of “ETHICAL” things,and “VALUE". That two always stays the same in every generation.

Just wondering, what kind of generation my children have ? Worst than what I see in class ? According to my friend, not all of generation Y was like that. The way they act like that is because of their level of status economy social. Is that true ? I don’t know. I am going to have another class sometimes next week. Will do the comparison after that…

Thursday, October 05, 2006

Today's Update

The traffic jam on the way to the office was a nightmare lately. I could not give a good example to my staff. Half of my way to the office, I fall asleep. It’s because – the classic reason – wake up early in the morning for “sahur” then instead of back to sleep, I just watch the news.
Review my service excellence training material, add 3 pages and changed the role-play situation. Have to give training tomorrow…; still have difficulties in arranging the time. Let’s see … what is going to happen tomorrow.

Got a “lullaby song” from my boss because of “Reader Letter” at Jawa Pos, yesterday. As usual, my staff does not have a service sense, working by follow the book, afraid to take a pro-active approach. So, after that lullaby song, called a meeting to some of my staff and gave them my beautiful speech of service

Had a fight with my friend because of his critic on me. Then the topic went to North Korea nuclear, the Moslem country nuclear. The issue of why Moslem country can’t have the permission from Uncle Sam to have nuclear weapon. Then jumped to another topic of expatriate who works in Indonesia, especially Indian. All of that crappy stuff, made me furious. Could not see the relation of that three topic. One thing that I know was his intention to do the revenge.

Attend the break fasting invitation of my company. They combined that invitation with a creativity game. And because we were so creative, we just choose the song today and combine it with parody. I finally made the decision to participate with my staff as a singer. It’s funny because most of the women singer actually is not a Moslem, they were Christian. We come to the stage with a piece of paper in our hand. Just in case, we forgot the lyric. Not bad, we won the 1st price. I was in my English course when they bombarded me with a text, saying that we won the 1st price – Not bad huh, for the amateur.

Run to my English class at TBI. Arrived there at 6.05 pm. Haven’t break the fasting, so I run to Ibu’s for a glass of hot tea (sweet, off course) and one free risoles. Got a homework, have to make a review of Wallace and Gomit film. A film kind of Bart Simpson, which is not for children. There are some words of innuendos. My friend who's crazy of being a movie director, laughed at me because I told him that I was crying when I saw Lake House movie, when we discussed that Wallace and Gomit film.

The worst part, my car got another scratch. @#$%^&*()@#$%^&*(@#$%^&*(,@#$%^&*, this is the second time within this week my driver crashed my car into the wall, after on Tuesday hit a bike. I don’t know how to say since he was working for my mother more than 10 years, so have to accept my mom's heritage.
Got an email from my buyer-to-be. She add her order but asked me to re-sign whatever paper. After the “scratch issue”, I lost my patient. Therefore, I sent her email asking the purpose of re-signing the contract. Oh Rusia ……!!!!
Anyway ... it's late now. Am sleepy. Miss my pilow ....