It is good to see you finally could make peace with yourself, by accepting the fact that you could not live with the past that you need to give yourself a chance to open yourself to embrace the happiness.
I know that you are still afraid if somebody open their selves to you, if somebody send the signal that they want to know you more. It is okay to still have those kind of feeling, it is part of the healing.
But please trust me, not all people out there is a bad person, there are still a lot of sincere people. You just need to open yourself, by letting them to know you.
Myself, you have the right to enjoy your life, you still have the right to be happy, still have the right to get the affection of the person who really loves you. Thus, do not close your door yet, let it open, until one day you have to close it.
At peace with yourself does not mean dismissed the opportunity given to you. At peace with yourself means let the real you come to the surface.
So myself, do not give up, ask God’s help to guide you. Wish one day, I could see your lovely smile and laugh again.