Sunday, June 03, 2007

Mommy's War : To Work or To Stay at Home

That's the title in ABC News of American Family (just click the above title to read the complete article). It's quite interesting to read the same argument since I was in elementary school, for not to be sarcastic.

According to Linda Hirshman, law professor and working mother, privileged, educated woman who choose to stay at home to raise their children are hurting themselves and others.

As a working mother and educated woman, I cannot say that the above statement is true or wrong. Every mother in the world, she is either a working mother or a stay home mother, have their own reason when they have to make that choice and none is a bad decision.

I’ve been in those two places, being a working mother and a stay home mother. To tell the truth, both of those two places are the nicest thing for me. There’s always a pro – cons of that each place.

As a working mother, my daughters said, that they were proud that their mother is not like “a stay home mother” who spend their time gossiping at the front yard of their school (even though I know that there’s a lot of a staying home mother who don’t have that kind of habit). They were proud because their mother knows the latest trend of everything.

As a staying home mother, my daughters said, that they were glad that finally they could find me right away after the school to share their stories, their happiness and their sadness. They were glad that finally their mother could help them in their homework and make them cookies. They were happy that finally their mother didn’t have to share their time with office stuff.

So, back to Linda Hirshman, I have to say that for some reason it is true that woman are hurting themselves, if they didn’t make use of what they have before they start their career as a “mother”. But, it’s also hurting themselves if as a working mother, we forgot to put our children as our priority number one.

As a working mother, I have to say that the most difficult part in life is balancing my career and my duty as a mother. It’s a big liar, for me, to say that I can balance that two easily. Most of the time, “family” becomes the number two, if it comes to the job responsibility. “Family” becomes number one, when it goes to meet the teacher, bring my children to the doctor, take care of their course, their errands, but aside from that, my responsibility as a working woman becomes number one.

Do I regret my decision ? Most of the time, I say, “Yes, I do”. I do regret the time that I spent with them especially during the vacation day. I only have 12 working days while they have 30 days vacation. Or during the weekend, when I don’t have enough energy to bake them cake or do the stitch together, that’s the time that I regret my decision as a working mother.

Therefore, back to the above argument, it’s always like chicken and egg, no ones right and no ones wrong.

As stated in that article, in the level of happiness, there’s no differentiation of children from working mother or stay home mother. As long as there’s love in every action, the level of happiness will stay the same.

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