My life in review

For The Soul there is neither birth nor death. The soul that is will never cease to be. It is unborn, eternal, ever-existing, undying and primeval. It is not slain when the body is slain.

(Gita, chapter 2, verse 20)

My life in review … was a year ago, when I decided to leave corporation world. Now , it’s more than a year and I haven’t done the review.

Looking back of my life a year ago, I would say that am changed, back to “my old me”. The “old” me, where I don’t have much time for myself, where I have to rush from meeting to another meeting, where I don’t have the sense to capture the beautiful and the bad in life, where I lost my “dream” somewhere in the corner.

Until this morning, when I was doing my blog walking, something alarmed me. Yes, something alarms me when I read my friend’s Makan(an) dan (Ke)hidup(an) blog. I remember the last time I visited his blog last year, when he wrote his last posting on his other blog Ari's . I put my comment on his posting and his friend added into his posting by saying that my comment was too hard.

After that, he vanished. According to my friend, he is now traveling to every part in this universe; follow the assignment given by his NGO, “ Oxfam”. Then, this morning, I read his blog again and found the topic that I always miss from his writing.

I remembered his last text to my cell phone on January 2007, “Happy New Year, hope with this coming year, there will be a new post again.”

Yes .. I do have new post. But in fact, nothing is there. Seems that I forgot to capture the beautiful moment in life. Forgot to share my “sadness” through my glass window on my way to the office. Forgot to share my “wish list” of life.

Looking back into the scene of my life start from the day I enter the corporation world again, I would say, that I passed each day of it in “loneliness”. Even though in the busiest day in my life, I felt that something missing there.

There’s a distance between my “new world” and me, there’s a wall in between.

I missed my life …., where I can see the world clearly …

My friend from the past, told me, that it’s all about choices. It has depends on me how I want to color my world. Black or Colorful, it’s all up to me….

9 days left, then it will be a year I’m back in corporation world and I still have the choice to put a color in my life, still have the choice to add my “dream”, still have the choice to bring back my senses of this world.

For sure, I will give myself a try, to live in my dream, to hold the “loneliness” and change it. So next year from now, I can write something different from what I have lately.

I don’t want to be a “numb” person, I want to bring back my life through my Indonesian blog “The Restless Mind”.