Thursday, August 24, 2006

Bullshit and Ass kissing...(new varian)

This is an old mathematic calculation with new varian about success...

From a strictly mathematical viewpoint it goes like this:

What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?

Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:

If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then:

H-A-R-D-W-O-R- K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

and

K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

But,

A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

And,

B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.

A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that, while Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it's the Bullshit and Ass kissing that will put you over the top.

Just look around you - is it true or not ...

Phew… I remember the advice that I’ve given to my old friend yesterday when he shared his worried of his new HR Director. I gave him some tips to handle his new boss, which one of the tips was “you have to pleased her, don’t ever against her, and try to build a good relationship by understanding her dos and don’ts”.

He replied my text , “the problem is am not an ass kisser”.

I don’t think please your boss is the same as an ass kisser. By trying to understand the dos and don’ts, at least we can minimize the misunderstanding, minimize the argument, minimize the hurt feeling ….

So.. back to the email above, yes “ass kissing” was one that can boost you to the top, but once again the “Good Ass Kissing” (I don’t know the variant, maybe it could be 200 %)


5 comments:

Xun said...

interesting. And if you add asskissing, add bullshit, add something else, will you become doubly, triply effective?

By the way, I found it hard to bullshit and asskiss, these two belong to the intangible EQ (Emotional IQ) category. But high score in these two do seem to work most of the time for most of people.

tere616 said...

Am not a fan of bullshit and asskiss. But, yes, that two categories work to most of the time for the most of people.

The HR Director in that story actually is the expert on doing that two categories.

One thing that I learned that we can use part of the asskissing to minimize the conflict with our boss, to understand boss do's and dont's, where at the end all of our hard work will meet with boss's requirement.

The real asskissing, for sure, am against that. :)

Anonymous said...

Sure bullshit and asskissing work fine.. but supervisory fellatio will give you an impressive 267%

tere616 said...

anonymous : Maybe for you ... but not mine.

tere616 said...
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