Sunday, July 09, 2006

IF

I was on the way home when my SMS alert rang. The news took my breath away, “our friend was hospitalized due to stroke. We could not visit him for a while. He was in ICCU.” I called the sender and he informed me that it happened two days ago.

Phew, based on my experience, there are only two options if he recovered. I felt sad. It’s been more than six months since I met him during my business trip from Bali. My friend told me that based on the rumors he did not feel happy with his previous company. The pressure was high.

I have not met him after he returned to that “previous company”. However, as long as I can remember, every time I met the people from that “previous company”, the comment I have is always the same. The pressure was high; they have to work long hours sometimes till 02 AM.

Yeah, I could understand it; I was in the same boat before. The pressure was high and at the same time, I did not feel happy. I could not let my stress out. I’ve got my vertigo and 6 months suffererd from allergic (my doctor told me that it was because of stress).

My friend warned me to view my life-style since it could be the cause of that “un-invited” killer. He suspected that our friend stroke was due his life-style also.

I felt sorry for my friend and his family. He's young and still have a lot of energy. He's not old enough to suffer from that illness.

Suddenly, I remember the advice that I’ve received at my first day in my coming back to corporation world, “Take it easy, and don’t involve your emotion there. Don’t raise your voice when you have to reprimand your staff, just transmit it through action.”

I thought it was the only one. Nevertheless, GOD wanted me to make a reflection on that Friday. I just 10 minutes arrived at home after pick my daughter up from her grandpa’s house, when my driver’s wife called my mother and informed her that her father in law just passed away.

I felt guilty because I was mad at him before. He supposed to go to Jatinegara station but he made his own assumption and go to Gambir. I was mad because he did not learn that the distance between Gambir and my office only 5 minutes; while the distance between Gambir and my father in law’s house about half an hour. If I want him to go to Gambir then I'd better stay at my office instead of went to my father in law's house. I felt guilty because I did not give him the instruction clearly and made my assumption that he knew already.

I felt guilty because of that misunderstanding made him went home late. I usually arrive at home around 08.00 pm but that last Friday I arrived at 11.00 pm. And right at 11.00 pm, my driver’s father passed away.

He was on the way home when his wife called my mom. The only thing we could do was warned her not to call his husband since he was on the way home.

Once again the sad feeling strike me. The only word I have left on that day was IF.
IF my friend did not move back to that company maybe, he did not suffer of stroke.
IF my driver did listen to my instruction carefully maybe, he could have a change to meet his father.

IF .. and only IF…
The only word left when we regret.

2 comments:

Silverlines said...

There are times that all we can do is just sit back and learn from what happened.
Deep condolence for your driver's father and hope your friend will recover soon. How old is he that he gets a stroke attack ?

Life this days, eh ?

tere616 said...

Thank you.

Yeah, life this days, too much pressure, traffic, life style. He is 42 years old. I do hope he will recover soon.

He's sickness really shocked the entire group of the ex-"employee" company. The 1st topic that came up after saying hallo.


He's 42 year old.