Last nite my litle daughter asked me to play "Chuzzle" (a game that I bought from yahoo) with her.
So I asked her what kind of Chuzzle that she wanted to play, since there are different type of Chuzzle.
As usual, she choosed that Zen Chuzzle (which is the last type of Chuzzle that I would like to play, because there is no competition).
But to respect her choice, I still stick with that kind of chuzzle, and as predicted, I felt bored.
I need a game where my adrenaline goes up, where I can compete, where at the end I can beat other person, and my name become the number one of the top 5 list.
I was in middle of thinking to changed it when she told me, "that's the reason why I choosed that Zen Chuzzle, because I didn't have to rush to win the game...and I can have beautiful color if I achieved certain points"
"Why don't you just play. At least you don't have to worry that you will loose. You also still can watch your favourite movie ... that chuzzle will understand, they will sleep while waiting for you and get up when you are ready".
.. What a word comes from 8 years old girl ? It's true, so true. Unbelievable how come I treat that computer game as my enemy, something that I have to compete.
Amazing...(my favourite word lately) ... !
I've been trained for almost 13 years to compete, to be the number 1 amongst my colleague, to be recognized by my employer that they have potential leader, to get pay rise...
I've been trained to put my energy to win the race, no matter how senseless it was.
I've been trained to open my eyes even though I was a sleep.
Yes..it's amazing to finally realized that I forget how to "sleep", how to "listen", how to "taste", how to "hear", how to "touch" the beautiful sound of World.
The question now is should I forget the beautiful 13 years training and start to catch up the losses ?
I don't think that I should forget the beautiful 13 year training. The best way is to combine that 13 years training and the reminder that I got from my daughter.
I have to be able to "stop" for a while, just to open my eyes, and feel the "sound of the world".
Here I quote The Chance from Paulo Coelho.
Everything tells me
that I am about to make a wrong decision,
but making mistakes is just part of life.
What does the world want of me ?
Does it want me to take no risks,
to go back where I came from
because I didn't have the courage
to say 'yes' to life ?