Thursday, September 27, 2007

Theme of 27th Sept - Stop Abuse

Thousands of bloggers from around the world are joining together this Thursday, September 27th with a single message: Stop Abuse!
BlogCatalog would love for you to be one of them!

If you read the word “ABUSE”, I do believe that every body will refer to child abuse, animal abuse, drug abuse instead of refer that to political abuse, emotional abuse or verbal abuse.

Only several people, the one who have the experience of the last three abuses, will automatically relate that word into it.

I saw a show of Oprah Winfrey, couple months ago. She brought the topic of emotional abuse and how that emotional abuse end to brutal act. At that time, the emotional abuses were in husband and wife relationship.

But have we ever thought that emotional abuse and verbal abuse also appear in our office community, in our friendship community, and the worst thing in our children community ?

Back to the theme of Sept 27th theme to Stop Abuse, it is still a question for me to stop the last two abuse, emotional and verbal abuse.

How can we stop that verbal abuse or emotional abuse in grown up people ? By giving the understanding to that person ? or by leaving that person ? How if the attachment is so close ? How if we still need our job ? Quit from that company ? Ask for transfer ?

I don’t think that it will solve the problem of the victim.

When I write this, am still thinking how we could say such nasty word even though we are not under pressure. How we could be so judgmental just because we have bad experienced. Is that because we feel superior ? Or is that because we know that we are better than others ? Or is it because we think that we are the “owner” of that person ?

I don’t know … I still don’t know.

The only thing I know to stop emotional or verbal abuse is not just to be at victim side but we have to be able to help them both.

To heal the victim, for me, is easier. To heal the abuser ? It took years and years, especially if it is relate to their childhood experience. Am not saying that they were raise poorly, no.

Sometimes, without we realize it, as parents, we tend to compare our children in the name of trying to make them better. Or sometimes, during our lowest time, we lose our patient to our children, and then we say the nasty word, again and again.

And without we “realize” it, that habit becomes the “way of thinking” for them, becomes the “foundation” to act.

So … how do we stop abuse ? Start from ourselves ….

As long as we realize that we are human, as long as we realize that we are facing human, then I think we could stop the emotional and verbal abuse.

On the way to be able to stop that, we will fall several times, but if we keep our direction as the goal of our lives, to stop the emotional and verbal abuse, I do believe that at the end will come to that “finish” mark.

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