Thursday, September 11, 2008

The Anonymous and Me

Decisions are only the beginning of something.
When someone makes a decision he is, in fact,
plunging into a powerful current
that carries him to a place
he had never even dreamed of
when he made that initial decision.
(The Alchemist)

When lately Anonymous stop by at my blog and left his comment several times, I always told myself that I have to put the comment verification to be verified before finally publish it. Every time also, I let myself to hold that kind of verification, not because I’m ready for all the anonymous comment; but because I want to give a freedom to speak, to give a freedom to express to anyone and also the anonymous of my thinking process.

It’s always nice to know the person who gave you their comment, bad or good agree or disagree, even though they were in the “illusion” world. And if for some reason the person would like to appear as the Anonymous, then I also have to accept their comment, because we are in the “illusion” world, the blogger world.

So when the anonymous came and start to ruin my world – if I may say so – by posting the anonymous comment as if that person knows me better than my husband and my children, I was totally speechless.

From replied back the anonymous comment, let the comment to be there and acted as if the comment wasn’t there until I deleted the comment – the latest one was yesterday – I have tried to stay calm.

Until the last one, I’m in the middle of processing to delete the anonymous comment, when suddenly I read Elyani’s comment as a replied to the anonymous comment. Her comment that made me fell that I’ve made the right decision by still open the comment as it is.

The decision was based on these thinking :

When I wrote I never tried to impress my reader. My blog is my world, my voice of my thinking process. A place where I can write anything, where I can heal myself of my frustration, my anger, my sadness, my joy and my childish that I have beneath in me.

The blog are dedicated to my daughters, they know that I love my blog, a place where no one can touch me. They know that someday when I have to leave this world, when they need me, they still can stop by and read my post as if I was there, share with them the outside world.

And if I believe in freedom to talk, then I also have to give myself a space for the non tolerance to express their selves, even though they breach the democracy to express the freedom (a thought from another friend due to the anonymous thing ….)

So, what if the anonymous left another comment, the irrelevant comment ?

Well, the decision is on me, right ? I can delete it, or just leave the comment as it is.

I’m not a perfect person, not a perfect employee, not a perfect mother, not a perfect wife. So, here I am, me and my 2 cents …


Elyani said...

The great thing about blogging is that you write what you want and you read what you want. Some of us are plain boring, others are brilliant, many informative. The point is that we get enjoyment out of writing. I’m fully in charge on what I write about and if anyone else enjoys it or it makes them think or if they think it’s lame and boring, well that’s all fine. But like anything else, if one would tell someone they’re wrong (in your opinion) don’t have a go at them personally. Take issue with their views by all means but leave the personal judgment out.

Anonymous said...

Don't let some random person ruin your blog or your world. It's your own blog and even if you choose to moderate comments, it's still your decision, it never is others.

Some people just have too much time to sit and read random blogs and bitch about it. I personally think no better of them

Anonymous said...

Totally agree with Eva. You do not need to justify or even explain why you wrote a certain post. It's your blog, it's your right, it's your call.

Nobody should judge anybody. Nobody is perfect. Your way of showing love to your children may be different to others. Just because you don't hand feed your children, doesn't mean your a bad mother.

So are you going to publish her/his identity? *wink*

treespotter said...

I know how that feels, somebody just wrote telling me to shut up :D

trolls are crazies. don't mind them.

tere616 said...

Elyani : I tried to leave the personal judgement out, but the "yesterday" things really made me crazy. I didn't understand the motive becauce the anon left the same comment in other post "racist in the eyes of Indonesian" (I've deleted the comment). Therefore, I said to myself that enough, couldn't bear it anymore. But yes, I do agree, take the view by all means and don't go at them personally. Thanks El.

Thewriter : Yes Eva, moderate or not, it's my decision and not because of "theirs". I thought that I can deal with that kind of issue, heheehe.. unfortunately, I'm still human :-D

Accordingtod : Hi Din, where have you been ? Mosf of the time it's easy to judge the working mom, especially working mom like who loves to find out theinteresting thing outside there.

The problem is I'm bad in guessing, I think I know by understand your *wink*. .. :-D

Treespotter : Whaat ? No one can telling you to shut up :-D

You and your rabies :-D
I will try hard not to mind them.

Finally Woken said...

That's the strength and the weakness of virtual world. This world is free of censorship, yet it's un-guarded and could be entirely fib, and you can be anyone you want to be.

Once we open up ourselves to the (virtual) world, there's a big chance we are going to brush 'shoulders' with... well, freaks.

Two things matter:
Anytime it happens, we need to go back to reality, that those people on the net don't really know us, they won't affect us, our work, life, and love. They don't have any impact in our lives whatsoever. Pay attention to those who are real to you: your spouse, children, friends, family, pets.

Secondly, readers will be the judge. And believe me, even in the virtual world, the world is actually quite 'small'. Once we've done something bad or good, the impression remains and will be remembered by others, forever. What I mean is, readers will see your reactions and replies, and they won't forget, and sometimes the impact can be huge. I once was attacked by another blogger for no apparent reason. Little did s/he knew that other bloggers, even when they didn't leave any comments in public, quietly sent me emails for support and delete this particular blog from their blogrolls. But they did that because I kept myself calm, cool and collected. Had I lost my temper and sanity, they will put me in the same category as this blogger: freak.

So it doesn't matter if you have 1 anonymous or 10 stalkers. That actually shows that you are a celebrity now :)

tere616 said...

Anita : Thank you for the advice. Hope that I didn't loose my temper. The worst part is finally I know that the anon is my "best" friend who have known me for 15 years even though lately we hardly met because of several reason.

Well, I think I'll focus my energy to the one who are real to me.

Will post it about it later on. But no offense, no madnes, I won't let my feeling going up so high because of this matter.

Anyway, I'm celebrity right now :-)