Wednesday, September 10, 2008

A Mother's Mumbling

The inspiration comes from here and here ….
Don’t ask me the reason but lately my two blogger friend reminds me of the beautiful things I have in this world.

Just finished posting to my Indonesian blog, Restless Mind, when suddenly I realized that my little daughter forgot to bring her Kleenex tissue. She’s suffering of cold and she really needs that. Her Kleenex tissue.

Can’t do much since she’s already left home to school and I have made my rule of the school things that she’s forgotten. She has to bear the punishment from the school because of her ignorance or whatever consequences she may encounter.

But that’s not the thing that bothering me, her question before she left the house when she kissed my cheek, “are you going home late today ?”.

The normal question which sometimes irritating me especially when I know that I have to spend over time at the office because of the meeting or the project that I’m responsible of.

The frustration was due to my inability to handle her next question, the typical child question which started with “why”, especially since it will lead to another long explanation with the comment from the little one, “ok, but what time are you arrive at home.” The twist of “why” question.

I know the answer of my wondering hopes, the hopes of when this never ending question will end and they let me live my life. I know that the answer is soon enough, but unfortunately it seems for me that the soon enough still long enough.

I just want to answer that question by saying, soon when she’s entering her teenager stage, but then I realized that my oldest one have her own way to remind me that I’m not a single person anymore.

Friday is my time to do my hang-out schedule with my friends. Most of the time we just do the chit-chat or watch a movie or do the windows shopping which turn into real shopping, or sometimes the reunion times where we spend the night with my old friends.

So when the schedule is come, I told my two beautiful daughters that I’m going to spend the night with my bunch of friend or with my best friend by mentioning my friends name, to emphasize that night is my ‘time’.

The common question of what time do you arrive at home is the question that I have to handle from both of them. But when the night is come and am still in my mood of hang-out, my oldest always call me and asked the same question like the little one, “where are you ?” “Are you still be with your friends “, “how long that you will be there.”. And suddenly all the head is turn on me, ask the same question, “your husband ?” because of my answer to my lovely oldest daughter. Then after that every half an hour, she will call me to check my latest situation.

I remembered my mom reminds me that the time will come when they don’t need us anymore and busy with their own world.

Well I have to say that yes, she’s right but it seems to me that their dependability on me, as a mother, never ends, and it changed in every stages of their lives.

I’m a grown up woman, a mother of two beautiful daughters, but I still need my mom when I want to make a decision that will impact my life.

The silly one and it’s still always like that, every time I have an offering from another company, I always need my mom’s approval. I feel that I can’t live in peace if she didn’t give me the blessing to move on.

Silly ? Yes, I know, but I can’t let that feeling go ….

So, did I ask my maid to deliver the Kleenex tissue to her school ? No, the answer still the same, I want my daughters to deal with her own problem and learn from the mistakes.


Anonymous said...

hi, in thousand times you mentioned that you love your daughthers, added to that however times is limited due business matters. are you sure

are you sure you love them or just pretend you love them so you can gain more friends to whom they might call you a loving mothers.

think of it how much time you spend in front of ur laptop to serve your ego or hunger to always find aknowledgement from friend and new friends. your private time with gym and yoga, ur hoby to watch movies., dinner n evening chit chat. yes you call them private time.

you only love your self. but you hardly want to endorse yourself to be somebody who realy cares of their daughther.

think if willing was there to compensate your never end adventure seeker.

Elyani said...

Aduh anonymous kok sinis begitu sih? Meski aku gak kenal Lalita secara pribadi, rasanya terlalu naif untuk menghakimi seseorang yang kita tau hanya lewat tulisan-nya. Sebagai seorang Ibu yang bekerja dan kepingin punya waktu untuk dirinya sendiri selain mengurus anak menurutku adalah hal yang lumrah. Lalita hanya mengungkapkan apa yang dia rasakan, ocehan seorang Ibu tentang keseharian-nya. Ibuku seumur hidupnya sampai meninggalnya dia tahun lalu, belum pernah sekalipun mengatakan kalau dia cinta kepada anak2nya. Ungkapan cinta yang dia tunjukkan tidak biasa bagi orang lain, karena mami lebih sering marah dan ngomel2. Cerewetnya mami justru menunjukkan betapa besar cinta dan perhatian dia terhadap kami anak2nya.

Jadi sangatlah tidak tepat menghakimi seseorang hanya berdasarkan tulisan yang dimuat di blog. Ada juga orang yang sangat menyenangkan dan terkesan pandai dalam tulisan2nya di blog, pada kenyataan-nya bukanlah pribadi seperti yang kita bayangkan.


tere616 said...

Anon : I'll write my thought on you at another post.

Elyani : Hehehe, terima kasih atas tulisannya. Tadi sudah mau aku delete tulisannya si anon, tapi ya sudahlah, orang bebas untuk berpendapat bukan ?

Mungkin nanti kalau ada acara kopi darat bareng Ecky, aku ikutan ya dan mudah-mudahan kita bisa kenalan deh :-)

Aku memang sibuk banget, waktuku untuk ketemu kedua putri kecilku sangat minim, pagi hari sebelum mereka sekolah dan sebelum tidur. Satu-satunya waktu adalah week-end. Makanya kalau week-end ada acara kantor aku paling malas. Biasanya kalau sudah sampai kantor aku konsentrasi penuh dikerjaan.

Phew...rasanya masih sebel banget, untung ada tulisanmu, jadinya aku menjadi lebih "teduh".

Thanks ya ... :-)

Rob Baiton said...


Thanks for the plug. I am glad I inspired a post of yours. Personally, I would not worry too much about the haters and those anonymous posters who have nothing better to do than question our motivations...

I am not worried about any of those things yet. Although I do tend to get home after 9pm most nights. Too busy at the office. Nah, that said, the beauty of my job is that it requires an internet connection and that is about it.

I can work from home. Although doing all the liaising type stuff and talking to staff, the basic administration and management stuff, means I need to spend some time in the office everyday.

I must admit the "our" or "my" or "her" time thing is doing to be interesting. I figure the wife an I will have to alternate the "my" time.

No matter what challenges lie ahead on this journey into parenthood there is only one thing that is certain for me, it will be one hell of a steep learning curve.

Anonymous said...

A mother's love is eternity. It doesn't have to be a 24/7 relationship. Just because a woman is a stay-at-home mom, doesn't mean she's ten times loving or better than the working mom.

You still need to teach your child dicipline, that's part of our love. Like the writer mentioned, a child needs to be taught to be able to face consequences. Otherwise, they'd ended up being weak like [unfortunately] some Indonesian kids/teenagers nowadays.

A mother still need to maintain her sanity, being with her adult friends. And this doesn't mean a mother is neglecting her family.

astra as astro . said...

hello anonymous , shut up and have a life .
did you think you're perfect or something ? because based on your comment , it feels like you think you are .
d'oh , you're so chicken you don't even dare to put your name on the comment .

here's an advice ,

and oh , get a life . i feel really sorry for you . you looks like a damn fucking nerd who's looking for attention .
but the fact .. you didn't get any .


tere616 said...

Rob : Oh .. and one more thing, there's a never ending learning curve. I thought that I know how to handle a kid, but when the litle one come out, the "I" know world back to zero again.

Being a parent is interesting, it's unique ..

Accordingtod : Din, the problem people difficult to see that and tend to judge working mom easily compare to "stay at home" mom. If am looking back, then I noticed that even "stay at home" mom also have their sanity time.

Discipline, can't agree more than you Din, but to teach discipline to them, for me, it's still a crazy world. I always remind myself not to do the comparison with me, but every time I fell.

Well, that's the beauty of being a parent right ?

Astra as astro : Astra, I know how you love me and thank you for the comment. No one can break the bonds of a mother's love to her children and I hope through people's comment in this blog, you can learn something new :-)

Anonymous said...
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