Wednesday, September 10, 2008
A Mother's Mumbling
The inspiration comes from here and here ….
Don’t ask me the reason but lately my two blogger friend reminds me of the beautiful things I have in this world.
Just finished posting to my Indonesian blog, Restless Mind, when suddenly I realized that my little daughter forgot to bring her Kleenex tissue. She’s suffering of cold and she really needs that. Her Kleenex tissue.
Can’t do much since she’s already left home to school and I have made my rule of the school things that she’s forgotten. She has to bear the punishment from the school because of her ignorance or whatever consequences she may encounter.
But that’s not the thing that bothering me, her question before she left the house when she kissed my cheek, “are you going home late today ?”.
The normal question which sometimes irritating me especially when I know that I have to spend over time at the office because of the meeting or the project that I’m responsible of.
The frustration was due to my inability to handle her next question, the typical child question which started with “why”, especially since it will lead to another long explanation with the comment from the little one, “ok, but what time are you arrive at home.” The twist of “why” question.
I know the answer of my wondering hopes, the hopes of when this never ending question will end and they let me live my life. I know that the answer is soon enough, but unfortunately it seems for me that the soon enough still long enough.
I just want to answer that question by saying, soon when she’s entering her teenager stage, but then I realized that my oldest one have her own way to remind me that I’m not a single person anymore.
Friday is my time to do my hang-out schedule with my friends. Most of the time we just do the chit-chat or watch a movie or do the windows shopping which turn into real shopping, or sometimes the reunion times where we spend the night with my old friends.
So when the schedule is come, I told my two beautiful daughters that I’m going to spend the night with my bunch of friend or with my best friend by mentioning my friends name, to emphasize that night is my ‘time’.
The common question of what time do you arrive at home is the question that I have to handle from both of them. But when the night is come and am still in my mood of hang-out, my oldest always call me and asked the same question like the little one, “where are you ?” “Are you still be with your friends “, “how long that you will be there.”. And suddenly all the head is turn on me, ask the same question, “your husband ?” because of my answer to my lovely oldest daughter. Then after that every half an hour, she will call me to check my latest situation.
I remembered my mom reminds me that the time will come when they don’t need us anymore and busy with their own world.
Well I have to say that yes, she’s right but it seems to me that their dependability on me, as a mother, never ends, and it changed in every stages of their lives.
I’m a grown up woman, a mother of two beautiful daughters, but I still need my mom when I want to make a decision that will impact my life.
The silly one and it’s still always like that, every time I have an offering from another company, I always need my mom’s approval. I feel that I can’t live in peace if she didn’t give me the blessing to move on.
Silly ? Yes, I know, but I can’t let that feeling go ….
So, did I ask my maid to deliver the Kleenex tissue to her school ? No, the answer still the same, I want my daughters to deal with her own problem and learn from the mistakes.