Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Several days ago I went to Rima’s blog and stopped by at her post of Have You Ever. She got the meme from her friend Bilbo with the list of 150 things that her friend has done.
Well, it’s quite interesting though to see the 150 things of Bilbo, to see how Bilbo pictures the world.
I’ve skimmed through the list and found out that I haven’t done even 50 % of the list, for not saying only 20 % ? Do I feel pathetic ? Yes, in the beginning, I felt like I haven’t done anything in this world. He have done a lot of things in his age, while me which is younger than him, don’t even have done half than his list.
Then after I left my comment on Rima’s, I went through again Bilbo’s list, and suddenly I found that there are also several things that Bilbo haven’t done yet or he can’t do that because he is a man, while am a woman.
So back to the feelings things, I then realized that everybody has their own list, their own achievement and most likely we never made that list like Bilbo’s did.
We tend to look at somebody’s list and compare ourselves to others without remembering the other things that we have done and that’s human.
In life, in work, that is how we justify ourselves, through somebody’s eyes, whilst actually that somebody’s eyes may not be clear enough because somebody’s also have their own justification.
We live by the shadow of people’s comment, of people’s reaction toward us, even though we know that deep down inside it torture ourselves. We exchange a little bit of ours with others.
Well, it is acceptable as long as the exchange is something that we are willing but what if the exchange is because of somebody’s eyes, somebody’s justification ?
You may say that it is how we should live in this world.
Maybe …, but if the eyes make me suffer, I don’t think that I should change and become somebody’s new, the “new” look that even ourselves hardly to know.