Sunday, July 08, 2007

For you, Nadia ....

When was my happiest time ? When I’m in the corporation world or when I’m working from home ?

That question was hanging around me for the last two days, and in the midst of my duty as a mother and as a “career woman”, I’m trying to find the answer.

I remember my chitchat with my colleague from my previous company, we were discussing whether I could be a “house-wife”, solely, purely house wife. As expected all the audience, agree that I could not be that kind of person. The reason is simple, I never be in that “position”. Since I was in college, I already busy with the task name “assignment” and I never stop to “work” for a while. By looking into the history and my current position, they were all agreeing that it is impossible. I maybe enjoy the period as “a house wife” in several months but not more than 6 months.

According to them, the key to be a “successful house wife” is still having a temporary job. Whatever it is, as long as, I have a kind of “temporary job” then I will succeed to follow the new path as a “house wife”.

Back to 1, 5 years ago, when finally I decided to quit from the corporation world and start my own company, I have to admit that I really enjoy the time as a mother who works from home.

It was the luxurious time I ever have, as a mother and as a mother who works from home. It was a time, where I can be their mother, help them with their home work, pick them up from their extra activities, be the 1st person they are looking for when their back from school. It was a time, where I can take care my small yard, my fish, follow the growth of my frangipani. It was a time, where I start to write, finding the word and put it into a sentence; where I start to make a bracelet, a necklace, start to finish my cross-stick. It was a time, where my “creativity” minds come back. It was a time, where I travel for business and pleasure.

But it was a time, where I start to miss my “quality” chitchat with my friend. It was a time, where I feel lonely in the midst of the other wife at my daughters’ school, since I could not follow their conversation. It was a time where I miss my colleague in the midst of my new friend at English course.

On the other hand, all that the things that I miss comparing to the time that I have with my daughters, is timeless, priceless. I’ve been longing for that day such a long time ago.

So, back to you, Nadia …

My answer is I cannot make a decision. I cannot make a choice. Both of the places are my happiest time, both of the places have their own story.

The reason of my answer is maybe that I don’t have the patient to be a mother who works from home. I have been in the corporation world since I was in the college. I get used to have a discussion of everything, from how to raise a daughter up to political discussion, from how to choose a good school up to wishy-washy discussion.

The reason of my answer is maybe that I did not prepare myself to cope with my business activity, which has an up side down curve. Because I did not prepare myself to join other community, which I still, can have that kind of discussion.

But if I have to make the choice someday, my answer to you, Nadia …

For sure I will choose to work from home … not because it was the happiest place for me, it’s because I realize that my time with my daughters are running. Soon they will leave me and when the time comes, I know that at least I have given part of my life to them not only just for my own.

So, which one is the happiest ? … for sure Nadia, both of them are the happiest in different way.

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